


delirium

by empressfall



Category: Captain America (Movies), Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Celebrity AU, Covers thirteen and a half years of stevenat, Difficult relationship though definitely, Everyone else is famous for their own reason, F/M, Minor relationships involved, Natasha is a model, Slow burn sorta but also sorta not, Steve is an actor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-11
Updated: 2019-08-11
Packaged: 2020-08-18 23:22:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 21,067
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20199883
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/empressfall/pseuds/empressfall
Summary: natasha and steve got lost in delirium and ended up waiting too long to face reality until it was too late





	delirium

**Author's Note:**

> this is over 20k words long... i apologize  
there's definitely some more editing needed and i'll go back and do that later but i hope you enjoy!

When they first meet, Steve is an up and coming actor from Brooklyn and she’s a rising model hailing from Russia. They’re both fairly new to their respective industries and are just trying to make their mark. It makes sense that they become friends.

He’s twenty-one years old and she’s nineteen years old. It’s a sunny June day, but the temperatures are brutal. He’s standing outside of his agent’s office when someone runs into him and falls to the ground. 

“_Shit!_”

Steve turns around and sees a short redhead on the ground, surrounded by the remnants of her iced coffee. He offers a hand to her. “Are you okay?”

“Physically, yes, but mentally, no,” she replies, taking his hand and getting back on her feet. She meets his glance and flashes a small smile. “I’m sorry. I was in a rush and I just didn’t notice you.”

She looks down at the coffee stains on the marble flooring and sighs. “Well, at least I don’t have to worry about burning those calories off.”

Steve’s taken aback at how gorgeous she is. She has these mesmerizing green eyes and bright red hair that makes her stand out compared to anyone he’s ever laid eyes on before. “No worries,” he says, assuringly. “At least you didn’t get any coffee on me.”

She chuckles. “That’s true.” She reaches into her purse to pull out a stack of napkins that she took from the coffee shop. 

He holds his hand out. “I’m Steve Rogers.”

“Natasha Romanoff.” 

Steve points to the door. “So, are you here to meet with Coulson?”

Natasha nods. “Yeah. I was told that my meeting would happen after he met with a Steve Rogers.” She raises a brow, inquisitively. “Why are you out here? Shouldn’t you be in there?”

“I should, but right before I was supposed to go in, Mr. Fury walked in and said he had to have an important talk with him, so my meeting got pushed back,” Steve replies.

“_Damn_,” Natasha says, her nose wrinkling. “Well, all hail to Mr. Fury.” She tosses the napkins to the ground and uses the bottom of her shoe to move them around and wipe the floor. 

“You know it.”

Nick Fury is the founder and CEO of Fury Incorporated, an entertainment company that consists of a recording label, a talent agency, a modeling agency and other business labels that Natasha couldn’t remember. Natasha had recently been signed to Fury Models and is mainly represented by Agent Phil Coulson.

“So, are you an actor? A singer?” Natasha asks, crouching down to wipe the last of the coffee.

“Actor.” Steve chuckles. “I’m absolute shit at singing.”

“As am I.” Natasha laughs. She turns to the nearest garbage can to toss the soaked napkins.

“Let me guess. You’re a model?” Steve raises an eyebrow.

Natasha nods. “You’d be correct. What gave it away? The calories joke?”

Steve shrugs. “_Sure_. Also, the fact that you’re wearing ridiculously high heels.” He points to her pumps. “How the _hell_ can you walk in those?”

She cocks her head. “Are you making assumptions about what job I have based on what I choose to wear?” She pretends to look offended and shakes her head in fake disbelief.

“My apologies,” Steve says, as his grin widens. “But to be fair, those are some insane shoes.”

Natasha looks down at them and shrugs. “It’s _fashion_.”

“I’ll never get into the fashion industry,” Steve says.

“Your loss,” Natasha jokes, “We’re all gorgeous over here.”

“I bet.” Steve crosses his arms. “How long have you been modeling for?”

Natasha responds, “Not long. I’m actually a student at Parsons. Just wrapped up my freshman year and I’m studying fashion design. But then, like, a month into the school year, I was noticed on the street by Coulson who recommended me to meet with Fury. I’ve only been signed for a couple of months. I’ve done a few editorials and photoshoots, but nothing major yet. What about you?”

“I always liked theater,” he replies, “I did community theater when I was a kid and then I did all the plays in high school. I’ve taken some classes at the Lee Strasberg Theater and Film Institute in Union Square until I got signed by Coulson about two years ago. I haven’t done anything big but I’m just trying to build up my resume. Guest roles and short films.”

She chuckles. “Modeling isn’t your thing?”

Steve chortles and shakes his head. “I don’t think I have the chops for that. I have some friends that model and I know from them that it’s not something I’d excel at. Acting isn’t your thing?”

“I’m just pretty,” Natasha replies. 

“_Oh_, I bet you’re more than just a pretty face. I like the accent. Is it Russian? Well, I guess judging by your last name, it is,” Steve says.

She nods. “I’m from Volgograd, but I moved to Queens when I was sixteen. The Russian accent just stuck with me.”

“Nice,” Steve says, sounding genuinely interested. “I’m from Brooklyn.”

Before she can say anything, the door opens and Fury walks out. He gives them both a curt nod before wandering away.

Steve enters the room and Natasha stands outside, scrolling through the apps on her phone as she waits for him to finish up with Coulson. 

Eventually, they finish up and Steve bids her farewell before leaving. He winks at her and Natasha blushes. She hopes that she’ll see him around. She definitely doesn’t believe in love at first sight, but she’ll gladly believe in connection at first sight. 

Natasha enters Coulson’s office and smiles. “Hey, Coulson.”

Coulson meets her glance. “Natasha, hey. How are you?”

“Doing good? So much better now that school is over,” she answers.

“Well, now you have all the free time to do some work with us. In fact, you’re booked to do a photoshoot with Ralph Lauren later this week,” Coulson says with a proud look on his face. 

Natasha’s eyes widen. “Wait, _really?_”

Coulson nods. “They called and said they wanted _you_.”

Ralph Lauren may not be Chanel or Louis Vuitton or whatever, but it’s still the biggest brand that Natasha has ever worked for her. This is exactly what she needs to build up her presence in the fashion industry. “_Oh my God_.” She’s ecstatic. 

“But the thing is, it won’t be just you in their shoot. You’re gonna be working with Bucky Barnes and Thor Odinson. I’m assuming you’ve heard of them?”

“Who hasn’t?” Natasha snorts in amusement. It’s not like Bucky Barnes and Thor Odinson weren’t two of the _hottest_ male models in the fashion industry. They’ve been becoming very popular in the past couple of years. She’s seen twenty-one-year-old Bucky on enough billboards to know that he’s the face of Dior’s men’s fragrances and she’s seen twenty-three-year-old Thor in the latest copy of Vogue, promoting Hugo Boss’s menswear line.

Coulson chuckles. “Yeah. It’s gonna be the three of you and I know that probably sounds a bit nerve-wracking since they have more experience, but I know you can do this.”

Natasha inhales. “This is a big leap from posing for online stores.” The biggest brand she had worked for as of now was Herschel. She had starred in a backpack commercial. 

“I know,” Coulson says, “but you’re the most hardworking model and student I know, Natasha. It’s intimidating, but you’re gonna ace it.”

A few days later, she’s scared as shit. She’s getting fitted for her Ralph Lauren shoot and everything’s going fine but she had caught a glimpse of Bucky and Thor and they’re intimidating as hell to look at. She couldn’t believe that this is something she’s actually dealing with.

They barely talk, only introducing themselves to her, before they’re posing in front of the screen. Natasha tries her absolute hardest to concentrate and doesn’t allow her nerves to get the best of her as the photographer snaps away. 

“Tilt your head, Natasha!” One of the photographers shouts as the fan blows through her hair.

Bucky’s hand slides from her shoulder to her elbow and Thor’s shifting his position to face her and she hopes to God that she’s not blushing.

The shoot’s eventually over and she’s about to say goodbye to the woman who did her makeup when she hears Bucky call her name out.

She turns around and sees Bucky and Thor dressed in casual, athletic clothing. “Hi.”

“You’re signed to Fury Models, right?” Bucky raises a brow.

Natasha nods. “Yeah.”

“We’re also signed to that agency,” Thor says, “We left IMG a few months ago. We have some friends who are signed to Fury Inc. for different endeavors and we’re all gonna meet up at my place for a dinner party next week if you’re interested.”

Bucky adds, “We know what’s it like to be new in the industry and not knowing many people.”

Truthfully, Natasha doesn’t have many friends. She lived in a single dorm at Parsons and had also been busy either doing schoolwork or modeling. She never had time to actually do normal things that a girl her age should be doing.

She had a few classmates and fellow models that she was friendly with, but none of them really accounted for as a friend.

So, Natasha nods. “Sure. That sounds great.” She gives Thor her number and bids them farewell before heading back to the studio apartment that she’s renting for the summer. 

She tosses her keys onto her sofa and falls into bed.

Modeling is hard.

* * *

When Natasha’s not modeling, she likes to sketch clothing designs and even dabble with her sewing machine. After one year at fashion school, she’s not an expert at design, but she’s not clueless either. She’s sketching a lace dress when she gets a phone call.

“Hello?”

“Natasha!”

“Hi, Thor,” she greets him, setting her pencil down.

“Everyone’s coming to my place for dinner tonight. You’re coming, right?”

Natasha chuckles. “I am. I just need an address.”

He tells her where he lives and says that she doesn’t need to bring anything. Just herself.

She hangs up and searches his address on Google Maps. Her jaw drops when she sees the location of it. She supposes that she shouldn’t be surprised that he lives in a multi-million dollar apartment in Tribeca. 

Natasha doesn’t know what to wear to this dinner party, but she reasons that since she’s a model, she should look nice. She puts on a black and white checkered pattern mini dress and black sandals. She ties her hair up in a high ponytail and grabs her black belt bag. 

Bucky opens the door when she arrives at Thor’s place. “Hey, Natasha. Welcome!” He moves aside to let her in and Natasha’s surprised to see that there aren’t as many people as she had expected to lounge around the apartment. 

“Welcome to my apartment,” Thor says, walking up to her with a gorgeous brunette by his side. “This is Jane Foster, my girlfriend. She works for Fury’s recording label.”

Natasha smiles and introduces herself to Jane.

Thor turns and gestures towards the small group of people. He points to a man with black hair who’s pouring himself a glass of wine. “That’s Loki. He’s my stepbrother. He works in film production and all that.”

He continues to introduce her to everyone.

“Maria Hill. Film actress. She was a supporting actress in that big superhero blockbuster that came out a couple of months ago.”

“Clint Barton. He works with Jane at Fury Records.”

“Wanda Maximoff. TV. Just finished a stint on Broadway for a play. Now, she’s booked for a new pilot that’s been filming since last month.”

“Pietro Maximoff. Wanda’s twin. He’s also booked on that new pilot.”

“Sharon Carter. She’s one of us. She models. The face of Marc Jacobs Beauty.”

“Tony Stark. He’s just filthy _rich_. You’ve probably heard of Stark Industries. Besides being a big know-it-all genius, there’s not much artistic talent in him, but he does do a lot of charity work affiliated with Fury Inc.”

“Pepper Potts. She’s involved in the administrative side of Fury Inc. Tony’s the lucky son of a bitch that’s dating her. She could _definitely_ do better.”

“Bruce Banner. Works in film production with Loki.”

“Sam Wilson. Film actor. You might’ve seen him in that street racing film that came out earlier this year. Dating Maria.”

“Steve Rogers—”

Natasha blinks when she sees the familiar blond slowly sipping on his beer. “Hey, _you_.”

“Hey yourself,” Steve says with a chuckle.

Bucky raises a brow. “You guys know each other?”

“We met like a week ago at Coulson’s office,” Steve speaks up. He flashes her a smile that she shyly returns.

“_Oh_,” Bucky says. He motions for Natasha to sit down on one of the large sofas. “Introduce yourself, Natasha.”

Natasha shrugs and says the typical things. What she does. How long she’s been signed to Fury Models. How she got discovered. What she’s been up to.

“I love your accent,” Wanda says with an accent of her own.

Natasha pauses and then asks, “Sokovia?”

Wanda nods. “Pietro and I were born there.” She smiles. “Well, I’m glad we have another Eastern European here because all the Americans here need to respect our culture more.” 

Natasha chuckles. “Especially our food.”

“Oh, I_ know!_” Pietro gushes. 

“Parsons, huh?” Sharon raises a brow. “Are you planning on going into design?”

Natasha shrugs. “I don’t know, to be honest. It’s what I was planning to do before this whole modeling stuff happened. I guess it depends on if I’m actually successful at this.”

“Well, being friends with Tony Stark will _definitely_ skyrocket your presence,” Sam snickers, “That’s how my career took off.”

“You’re fucking welcome, Wilson,” Tony snorts in amusement. He turns to Natasha. “I’m just a big name in the tabloids.”

Natasha laughs. “I’ve seen them.” 

She’s feeling a little starstruck. These people around her definitely aren’t like Angelina Jolie or Leonardo DiCaprio, but she recognizes them from the big screen and magazines and billboards. These are people who have been succeeding and she wants to be like them.

“Modeling’s a tough industry,” Maria notes. “_God_, I don’t know how you do it, Sharon.”

“Well, I never said it was easy,” Sharon smirks. 

The rest of the night goes pretty smoothly. Since Thor’s Norwegian, they feast on Norwegian cuisine, which Natasha has never had any experience with. It’s delicious and she’s enjoying the small talk she’s been having with some people.

She doesn’t consider herself to be that shy, but she’s not completely outgoing either. Still, she finds herself at ease as she gets to know the people there.

She’s only nineteen, but no one cares and they let her drink anything she wants. As a Russian, of course, she goes for vodka.

“Vodka’s _gross_,” Steve says, nose wrinkling. “How the hell can you stomach that?”

“What kind of Russian would I be if I can’t handle fine vodka?” She snickers. She gestures towards his beer. “But of course, you, as a typical _American_, are drinking that garbage.”

Steve pretends to look offended. “I’ll have you know that beer is a staple to American culture and it’s delicious.”

Natasha smirks. “Whatever you say, _American_.”

They burst out laughing and spend an hour getting to know each other. They don’t talk about their pasts or anything like that. Instead, they talk about their hopes and dreams and aspirations. They talk about where they want their careers to go.

When the night’s over and she’s sitting in her cab, she decides that she likes all of them. They’re cool people and Natasha could definitely see herself being friends with all of them.

Especially Steve. He understands her and they’re good at talking to each other.

She smiles in the backseat, staring out at the bright lights of the Manhattan skyline. Life is good. 

Life is especially good when she gets called back to do a second photo shoot with Ralph Lauren a couple of weeks later. This time, it’s just with Bucky while Thor’s off doing stuff for Hugo Boss. 

It’s an outdoor shoot and it’s hot as hell outside and Natasha honestly feels like death. The humidity is insane and she’s glad that the photographer hasn’t asked her to pose with her arms raised because she’s certain here are sweat stains on her shirt.

Still, she doesn’t want to give off a bad impression so she does as she’s told and poses with Bucky, who doesn’t seem to mind the heat at all. Natasha makes a mental note to ask him how the fuck he pulls it off.

They’re looking outtakes on the computer screen when Bucky pats her on the shoulder. “You look great, Natasha.”

Natasha beams at the compliment. “Thanks. You look better though. A true pro at this.”

Bucky chuckles. “I appreciate it, but give yourself more credit. These shots are amazing.”

“Well, hopefully, Donatella Versace sees them and agrees because I would _love_ to work for her,” Natasha jokes, tucking a small chunk of her hair behind her ear.

“It’s what you’re destined for.” Bucky nudges her.

They change into their regular clothes and head to an Italian restaurant where they had agreed to meet with Steve for lunch.

“Hey, Nat. Buck. How was the shoot?” Steve asks, looking up from the menu.

“Pretty good. Natasha killed it, though,” Bucky answers.

Natasha rolls her eyes. “He’s exaggerating.”

Bucky looks at her like she’s crazy. “The shots were amazing. You’re gonna be the next Cindy Crawford, I’m telling you.”

Natasha scoffs. “Are you _high?_”

Steve speaks up. “I believe that.”

They pause to order their meals. Bucky gets the baked ziti. Steve opts for linguine frutti di mare. Natasha picks an apple gorgonzola salad. 

“How would you know? You’ve never even seen my portfolio.” Natasha smirks at him, challengingly. 

“I just do,” Steve says with a chuckle. “I wouldn’t be surprised.”

“You two sure do know how to make a girl feel good about herself, but don’t overdo it.” Natasha pretends to punch both of them in the shoulder.

Steve holds his hands up in defense. “_Hey, now_. Watch it. I’m auditioning for an action movie role and I can’t be beaten up by you.”

Bucky raises an eyebrow. “What film?” He takes a sip of his lemon water. 

“Can’t say,” Steve says, leaning back in his chair.

Bucky rolls his eyes. “_Lame_.”

“Agreed.” Natasha nods, poking at the ice in her glass with a straw.

Steve turns to her. “So how’s the fashion designing going?”

“Oh, it’s just _going_,” she replies. “Nothing particularly special. I’m just practicing my skills before school starts next month.”

“School,” Bucky scoffs. “I’m glad the modeling pays because I couldn’t do that school bullshit again.”

Natasha had learned a couple of weeks ago that Bucky and Steve are childhood best friends that grew up in Brooklyn together. Bucky had been discovered at a grocery store in Manhattan and did modeling as a side hobby during high school. He had ended up deciding to take on modeling as a career during his senior year of high school when he was chosen to be the face of Dior men’s fragrances.

“It doesn’t hurt to learn stuff, Barnes,” Natasha says with a chuckle.

“Valid point,” Bucky notes. “But as long as I look good for Fashion Week, it’s whatever.”

“Speaking of Fashion Week,” Steve speaks up, “When are we gonna see Natasha Romanoff opening for the fashion house, Natasha Romanoff?” His smirk grows wider if that’s even possible. 

“I’m gonna stab you with this fork,” Natasha says, narrowing her eyes at him.

“Why?” Steve shrugs. “You gotta dream big. Aim for higher ground.”

Natasha rolls her eyes, stifling a laugh. “I’m in a brutal industry, Rogers. Not all of us can be Barnes here.”

“Damn right,” Bucky smirks and puffs his chest. 

“First of all,” Steve says, “Thor’s giving you a run for your money, buddy.”

Bucky snorts.

“And second,” he says to Natasha, “you’re like the most unique person in the fashion industry now. I’ve seen the people that Bucky and Thor and Sharon work with. They all look the same.”

“I’m white too,” Natasha pipes in.

Steve shakes his head. “Not what I mean. You have fiery red hair and the brightest green eyes ever. You stand out.”

“He’s not wrong,” Bucky agrees. “I’ve walked in Fashion Week a couple of times and there are barely any redheads walking around.”

Natasha crosses her arms. “That doesn’t equate to talent and deserved success.”

“Well, we’ll see,” Steve says. “Anyone would be a fool to turn you down. You’re gorgeous, Nat.”

Natasha’s lips curl into a small smile. “Thanks.”

Bucky look amused. “Dial it down, you two. We’re gonna eat soon.”

“It’s just a compliment,” Natasha says, pinching his elbow in the process. “But don’t worry, Bucky, you’re pretty damn gorgeous too.”

Bucky winks at her. “Thanks, doll.”

Steve smiles at her and Natasha couldn’t help but grin wider. If he wasn’t an actor, Natasha could definitely see him modeling. Even as an actor, Natasha could see him becoming an ambassador for a fashion house. He’s definitely good-looking and those looks shouldn’t go to waste. 

“What? No love for me?” Steve pretends to look offended and makes puppy dog eyes that Natasha giggles at.

Bucky pokes him in the shoulder. “Nah, you got Coulson kissing your ass enough.”

Natasha bats her eyelashes at Steve. “But never forget that you’ll always be _so_ handsome in my eyes.” She pretends to blow a kiss.

Steve pats his chest. “_Ooh_, my heart.”

“You two are disgusting.” Bucky’s nose wrinkles. “I can’t believe I’m third-wheeling you guys.”

“Oh, _shut up_, Bucky,” Natasha says, “If anything, I’m third-wheeling you and Steve. When are you two gonna admit that you’re in love with each other?”

Bucky raises a brow. “Steve?”

Steve gestures towards him. “You make the first move.”

Natasha snorts in amusement. “Oh, look, there’s our food.”

During the rest of their lunch, the topic of conversation switches to what their friends have been up to, gossip they’ve heard at work, and how unbelievably hot it is in Manhattan.

Natasha smiles and laughs as she enjoys her conversation with them. 

“If anything, you could always be the ‘hot extra’ on all of Steve’s films,” Bucky jokes.

“You make it sound like I’m like Brad Pitt.” Steve rolls his eyes.

Natasha chuckles. “You’re gonna be the next Brad Pitt, most definitely.”

Steve shrugs. “Alright then, Tyra Banks.”

“I’m not getting anywhere near her level,” Natasha says, dismissively. “Besides, I wouldn’t have made it on America’s Next Top Model.”

Bucky scoffs.

“I’d root for you, Nat. I have good taste, after all.”

“Aren’t you charming?” Natasha grins at him.

“_Always_,” Steve says with a smirk. 

Bucky pretends to gag. Natasha feels like she's living on a cloud.

* * *

Things start to take off in September. She’s juggling school and work, but it seems that work is taking up more of her time. It stresses her out.

She loves Parsons and she loves the program that she’s in, but then her work with Ralph Lauren had become noticed by other fashion labels. Nothing major yet, but she’s been doing some shoots with other brands and the work is piling up.

Tommy Hilfiger one day and Michael Kors the next. Lacoste in the morning and Kate Spade in the evening. She can barely keep up with the jobs that she’s been getting and it amazes her how things are turning around in the industry.

Her social media accounts have been blowing up with more followers each day and she’s even seen her name mentioned in fashion articles. She’s finally gaining some notion in the fashion industry, which is exactly what she’s been dreaming of. 

As great as that is for her, she still has classes to go to and homework to do. She tries to balance it as well as she can. Coulson makes sure that she’s not overbooked and tries to accommodate for her course load.

“I don’t know how you do it,” Sharon says to her in disbelief, as they all have a movie night at Clint’s apartment in the Upper East Side on a crisp October night. “I barely have time to have a life and you’re going to college.”

“I don’t know how I do it, either,” Natasha confesses. “In fact, I don’t know if I still can.”

“What do you mean?” Pepper frowns.

“I don’t know if I want to continue juggling school and work. It’s only been like a month and a half, but it’s becoming increasingly difficult. College is only gonna get harder and Coulson’s working on getting me booked for more and more shoots and _hopefully_, runway, soon, so it’s only gonna get more hectic,” Natasha explains.

Fashion Week for the fall and winter season had just ended and she had seen how busy Sharon had been on top of her photoshoots. Natasha wasn’t sure if she could handle that on top of school work.

“So, what are you saying?” Loki asks. “Are you gonna drop out?”

“I don’t like that phrase. ‘Dropping out.’” Natasha says, “_but_… I guess that is what it is. I don’t want to just quit, but I don’t want to overwhelm myself.”

She sighs and adds, “I came to New York with a whole plan to study fashion design. Modeling wasn’t apart of the plan. I enjoy modeling and I could see it as a career, but I worked hard for Parsons and I don’t know if I want to give it up yet.”

Steve looks at her with a sympathetic expression. “I get what you mean. That must be hard.”

Natasha huffs.

“But _hey_, life takes unexpected turns. Maybe you’re meant to model,” Steve says.

“You’re a great model,” Wanda says assuringly. “You deserve to have a chance to take the fashion industry by storm. Sharon’s done it. So should you.”

“But I don’t know if I can just let go of design,” Natasha says. “I’m indecisive.”

“Designing will always be there,” Thor says assuringly. “Modeling won’t be. We’re on a ticking clock.”

“And that’s why I act,” Pietro says with a laugh. “You can be fat and old and wrinkled and still be one of the top actors in the world.”

Bucky rolls his eyes. “Screw you, P.”

Sam reaches over to give Pietro a high-five. “That’s what I’m talking about.” 

Maria snorts in amusement.

Everyone’s been enjoying their own degree of success in the past month.

Wanda and Pietro’s television show had been greenlit by NBC and is set to air in a couple of weeks. Tony and Pepper are raking in lots of money through Fury Inc. A sequel had been ordered for Sam’s street racing film. Maria’s been cast in a romantic comedy alongside Dave _fucking_ Franco. Jane and Clint have been working on music with Taylor Swift, out of all people. Bruce and Loki are set to work on the production of Maria’s next film. Bucky, Thor, and Sharon are doing their typical modeling stuff. Steve had been cast in the film that he’s been wanting.

Everyone had found out that he’d actually been cast in a potential franchise role for a sci-fi series called “The Renegades.” If anyone’s gonna skyrocket to the top of fame, everyone was guessing that it’d be Steve.

Natasha’s immensely happy for all of them, but she wishes that she was 100% certain about the direction of her career the way that they were. 

“Just wait until Fashion Week for the spring and summer season is over,” Sharon advises her. “By that time, whether or not Coulson has you booked for dozens of shows, you’ll know whether you can handle it or not.”

Natasha nods. “That’s actually a good idea.”

“Oh, you’ll be _fine_,” Tony says, waving his hand dismissively. “With whatever you end up choosing, you’ll be successful.”

“God, I _hope_,” Natasha says. “Giving up my scholarship to Parson is gonna suck if it ends up badly.”

She feels Steve pat her on the back. “_Relax_.”

Natasha turns and smiles at him.

She and Steve have become close during the past couple of weeks. Wanda’s definitely her female best friend, but she’s certain that Steve’s her closest male friend, although, Bucky’s not too far behind. He’s too busy flirting with Wanda to be her closest male friend. At least, that’s what she and Steve think.

She and Steve have spent a lot of time together. Steve had visited her after a photoshoot for Lacoste and they went to get brunch together. When Steve revealed to her that he didn’t really know how to cook, Natasha became mortified and invited him over to her studio to learn how to cook.

They made chicken tacos and feasted on them while watching Netflix together. Ever since then, they’ve been spending a lot of time together. Most of it consisted of eating or drinking (since he’s 21, he just snuck whatever she wanted to her) or watching TV or taking walks around Manhattan.

They were completely platonic activities and Natasha does understand that. She would never deny that Steve’s handsome and charming and that she enjoys spending time with him, but she wasn’t gonna try to turn a good friendship into something that could potentially turn really awkward.

“When are you two gonna start dating?” Bruce raises a brow, gesturing to the two of them.

“Excuse me?” Steve turns to him.

“You two are so in love,” Bruce says. “Why don’t you just go for it?”

Natasha rolls her eyes. “A girl and a guy can be close and just be friends.” 

“That’s true,” Maria speaks up. “Like me and Stark are pretty tight.” She playfully nudges the billionaire. “But it’s not like that with you two. Or those two.” She points to Wanda and Bucky, who are thumb wrestling in the corner.

“What?” Wanda looks over at them, as Bucky closes his thumb over hers. “Oh, _dammit!”_ She turns back to Bucky.

“Nothing, dear sister,” Pietro snickers.

Wanda groans.

“Our friendship is nothing like theirs,” Steve insists. “Those two practically eye fuck every time they’re in the same room together.”

“You and Romanoff giggle like kids every time you two are together. And you’re always hanging out with each other, cuddling and cooking together and all that shit,” Bucky says with a knowing look on his face. “Pretty _domestic_, if you ask me.”

“_Wrong_,” Natasha says.

Steve and Natasha both turn out to be the ones that are wrong. 

On Halloween night, Natasha’s getting ready for the Fury Inc. Halloween party when she gets a call from Coulson. 

“Bad news,” Coulson says on the other line. “Valentino decided to scrap the shoot and do something different with some different models instead. I’m sorry, Nat.”

Natasha sighs. “It’s fine. It was gonna happen eventually.”

She’s been experiencing a lot of success during the past two months, but there have been some failures every now and then. Valentino was supposed to be the biggest brand that Natasha’s ever worked for, but it wasn’t gonna happen anymore.

Before she could dwell on her thoughts, a knock on her door interrupts her.

Natasha sets her phone and mascara down on the table and walks over to open the door. “Hey, Steve.” 

She takes a good look at him and bursts out laughing. “Nice costume. You’re looking _quite_ regal.”

“Hey, hey, hey. No laughing,” Steve shushes her, walking past her into her apartment. “Especially since you’re matching with me.” He reaches out to touch the blonde hair on her wig.

“Jon Snow.” Natasha chuckles. “It’s a shame you refused to wear the curly black wig.”

“I couldn’t pull it off,” Steve insists.

“And you think I can pull off Daenerys Targaryen?” Natasha snorts in amusement. 

Steve nods. “Of course. You look beautiful.”

Natasha purses her lips, as her cheeks heat up. “Can you tell Valentino that?”

Steve frowns. “What?”

Natasha shrugs. “Valentino dropped me from their shoot.” She says it like it's nothing.

“Fuck them, then,” Steve says, shaking his head. “You’re so damn good at modeling and you’re stunning. It’s Valentino’s loss. You’ll bounce back from this.”

He knows how excited Natasha was for this shoot. He had been the first person that Natasha told when Coulson told her that she had been booked for it. He had celebrated with her and assured her that she’d kill it.

“I’m sorry,” Steve adds, pulling her into a hug. “Valentino will regret it.”

“Thank you,” she says, gratefully.

He lets go of her and then reaches out to hold her hand in is. “It this was any other night, I would suggest that we make some food and watch Halloween movies, but Fury’s expecting all of us so we better get going.”

Natasha looks down at their hands. “Yeah.” She swallows her breath at being at such close proximity to him.

Steve notices and lets go. “Come on.”

Even though it’s a party thrown by Fury Inc., it’s really _Tony’s_ party. That thought becomes obvious when Natasha enters the massive Fury Inc. headquarters with Steve. 

“Hey kiddos,” Tony says, coming up to them with his arm around Pepper. “Nice costumes. Game of Thrones. I like it.”

“You too,” Steve says, looking Tony up and down. “Cop and prisoner, though? Come on, you can do better than this.”

“_Hey_, it was Pepper’s idea.” Tony points to the tall blonde. “I suggested Chucky and Bride of Chucky but she wasn’t into that.”

Pepper rolls her eyes. “We did Beetlejuice and Lydia last year. I wanted to be more relaxed this year.”

“Have fun, you two. Eat, drink, dance, do whatever,” Tony says. He turns to Natasha. “They’re not carding here so have as much vodka as you want.”

Natasha sighs in relief. “_Thank the lord_.”

Tony nudges Steve. “If you two are gonna have some of your own type of fun, if you know what I mean, I’d appreciate it if doesn’t happen in my office. I’ve caught Sam and Maria in there once and it was just disgusting. So, do me a favor.”

Steve looks at him with disbelief. “_Dude_.”

“I’m just saying.”

“Tony, _zip it_,” Pepper says, leading him away from them. “We’re gonna go dance now.”

Steve turns to Natasha. “Drink first?”

Natasha nods. “Mhmm, because _fuck Valentino_.”

“_Damn right_.” Steve nods as he leads her to the bar. 

The rest of the night is a blur to Natasha. She dances like there’s no tomorrow, drinks her sorrow away, and has a great time with Steve. It’s nice to let loose, especially after midterms at school. Having fun without a care in the world is something she’s grateful for.

Eventually, it’s past midnight and Natasha’s a little crazed. She takes a break from partying and stands in a corner, trying to catch her breath. 

Steve walks toward her with a glass of water in his hand. “Here. You need some.”

Natasha chuckles. “Thanks.” She accepts it and takes a long sip.

“You feel good?” 

“_Mhmm_. Although, I would say that making those snickerdoodles and watching Shrek is just as fun as these parties,” Natasha says.

Steve smirks. “Don’t let Tony hear you say that.”

Natasha cocks her head. “Of course not.” She leans against the wall. “It’s getting late. What do you say to getting out of here?”

Steve raises a brow. “Meaning?”

Natasha grabs his chin and pulls him into a kiss. Maybe it’s the alcohol, maybe it’s just Steve himself, but something makes her want to do that. 

She can feel Steve being hesitant at first, but then he kisses her back, grabbing the cup from her hand and setting it down on the nearby table. When they let go, he whispers against her lips. “Are you sure you want to cross that line?”

Natasha presses a quick peck to his lips. “_Yes_.” She’s letting loose. She’s going to be reckless. 

His blue eyes darken and he grabs her hand, bringing her to the elevator. “We’ll go back to my place,” he murmurs in between kisses. “The last thing we need is Fury or Coulson to walk in on us.”

Natasha nods.

She’s barely stepped foot into his apartment when he spins her around and pins her to the door, kissing all over her lips, jaw, and the crook of her neck. She lets him do whatever he pleases to her and they eventually find themselves in his bed, basking in pleasure all night long until they both reach their climax and have their release.

When she wakes up the next morning, she finds herself curled up to his firm chest. 

“Morning,” Steve murmurs against her bare skin.

Natasha’s heart begins to beat faster. “Morning. Sleep well?”

“Definitely.” His voice is husky and Natasha decides that she quite enjoys his sleepy morning voice. “With you here, of course.”

Natasha chuckles. “I have that effect on people.”

“No doubt about that.” Steve shifts to look at her. “You know what? I like you. A lot.” He leans in to kiss her. “_Quite_ a lot, really.”

Natasha raises a brow. “Are you confessing your undying love to me, Mr. Rogers?”

Steve shrugs. “That depends. How would you respond if I was?”

“_Well_,” Natasha says, as she moves around to get on top of him. “I would say that I like you too. A lot. _Quite_ a lot, really.”

“Really?” 

“Of course.”

Steve gives her a knowing look and then lets out a soft groan as she begins to grind her hips against him. “Are we really gonna cross another line?”

Natasha nods. “There’s no going back from here.” 

Their lips meet in a kiss and their story truly starts there.

* * *

Natasha’s twentieth birthday is quite possibly one of the best that she’s ever had. She’s been dating Steve for three weeks now and even though it’s only been a short amount of time, she’s never been happier. 

Tony throws an intimate party for her at his massive penthouse and she’s ecstatic to be able to spend it with the people she loves. She has no other family and neither does Steve so they make the most of their time together. 

“Happy 20th, Nat,” Steve says, kissing her cheek. “Only one year closer to being able to legally drink in America.”

“I hate America,” Natasha huffs. “Russia does it better.”

“Okay, _Vladimir lover_,” Bucky jokes. 

“She’s right,” Wanda says with a shrug. “Sokovia does that better too.”

Steve rolls his eyes. “But anyway, I have something for you. You’ll really like it.”

“Steve, keep your bedroom activities private. We do _not_—” Sam starts to say before Steve cuts him off.

“Oh, would you _relax_, Wilson?” Steve hands her a velvet box with a little bow on it.

Natasha smiles and takes it from. “You really didn’t need to get anything for me, you know. What you do in bed is enough.”

Tony pretends to gag. “You two make me want to die.”

Natasha ignores him and opens the box. Her eyes slightly widen at the necklace inside. “Oh, this is _beautiful_.” It’s an hourglass necklace encrusted with diamonds on a silver chain. She gently touches it and says, “Steve, _honestly_, you could’ve just given me really nice sex. You didn’t—”

“Accept the damn necklace,” Maria says, shaking her head. 

Natasha shoots her a glare and then smiles appreciatively at Steve. “You’re the best.”

“Love you,” Steve says, planting a kiss on her lips.

“Love you,” she says back, as she hands the necklace to him. She turns around and lifts her red hair up so that he can clasp it around her neck.

“Steve, wanna be my sugar daddy?” Sharon asks, after taking a sip of her wine. “You got good taste in jewelry.” She laughs. “Just kidding.”

“_Actually_, Sharon,” Pietro speaks up. “That was all me.” He turns to Natasha. “You’re welcome. Your boyfriend has _horrible_ taste in jewelry. I saved his ass.”

“_Very_ much appreciated, Pietro,” Natasha laughs. 

It’s one of the last few times she gets to hang out with her friends before they all become busy again. Everyone’s either filming or modeling or working in the studio or on set and it’s only during the holiday parties that they all come back together. 

It’s the New Year’s Eve dinner party at Bucky’s place where they’re all ringing in the new year. Several announcements are made.

#1. Wanda and Bucky are_ dating????_ Took them long enough.

#2. Thor and Sharon are gonna be on the February cover of British Vogue.

#3. Sam’s starring in a small indie film that begins filming next month.

#4. Maria is gonna guest star on Wanda and Pietro’s show.

Natasha has news of her own too. Coulson said she’s been booked for several shows during Fashion Week, including Versace.

Sharon squeals. “I told you that you could do it, Nat! We _all_ did!”

Steve wraps his arm around Natasha’s shoulder. “Well, look at _you_. Rising up the ranks of the fashion world.”

“Let’s just hope I don’t trip and fall on the runway,” Natasha says, “because that’s a definite possibility.”

She pauses and adds, “but then again, with me dropping out of Parsons, life will be easier and I’ll have less stress so it should be better.”

“You dropped out of Parsons?” Loki raises a brow.

“_Surprise!_” Natasha waves her hands dramatically.

Pepper looks impressed. “I didn’t think you were gonna do that already.”

“I know,” Natasha says, “but designing will always be there when I’m ready for it. Now… _now_ I think I’m just gonna live my best life and have fun modeling.”

And she has a lot of fun outside of modeling too.

She and Steve ring in the new year with a sweet kiss in the penthouse of Stark Tower and enjoy their last few days together before he has to head off to Atlanta to film. 

“Happy two months, chump.” Natasha pokes him in the nose. “We’ve come such a long way.”

Steve chortles. “_Oh_, I know. Two months, more like two centuries.”

“You’d be lucky to get two centuries with me,” Natasha says, cheekily, “I’m a very hard girl to please sometimes.”

Steve doesn’t look like he believes her. “I’m different, though.”

Natasha shrugs. “I suppose.”

Steve grips onto her thigh. “I can show you now if you want.”

“I bet you could,” Natasha says with a grin, “but you did promise me you’d show me around Brooklyn.” She pokes him in the shoulder. “I gotta see how Steve Rogers lived his life before the fame.”

Steve snorts. “I can’t believe I suggested that we do this in the middle of winter.”

“First, global warming. It’s not even that cold,” Natasha says, “and second, winters in New York are nothing compared to winters in Russia.” She taps him on the nose. “Weak _American_.”

“_Haha_,” Steve says, sarcastically. “Very funny, Nat.”

She leans forward and kisses his soft lips. “Let’s go, soldier.”

They tour around Brooklyn and Steve makes sure to show her all the spots that he’s been familiar with since he was little. He recounts childhood memories and tells her stories about the mishaps that he and Bucky got caught in when they were younger.

They’re walking near the Manhattan Bridge when Natasha says, “I want to take you to Russia with me someday. I want to show you my home.”

“I’ve never been to Russia,” Steve says, “but I hear it’s beautiful.”

“It is,” Natasha confirms. “It’s not a perfect country, but the scenery is beautiful. The culture is so rich there. Not many people visit Russia, which I do understand why, but it’s a shame. The architecture is stunning.”

“We’ll have to go together eventually,” Steve says. “I’m counting on it.”

Natasha chuckles and leans her head against his shoulder. “We’ll try.”

“We have to do more than just try.” Steve tightens his grip around her shoulders. “We gotta do it.”

“We’ll see.” Natasha smiles at him. 

“No games, Romanoff,” Steve teases her. 

Natasha kisses him. “Of course not.”

They spend the next couple days in Steve’s apartment. They watch movies on the sofa and have mindblowing sex on his bed. They could always go out and do things, but they want to stay in and enjoy intimate time together before their schedules catch up with them.

While Steve’s in Atlanta to film, Natasha is prepping herself for Fashion Week. It’s starting sooner than she can comprehend and she wants to make sure that she’s physically and mentally prepared for the stress that she knows is gonna come from it. 

She’s relieved that Sharon’s with her through all this because she doesn’t think she can do this alone. It especially helps that Sharon has been through this before.

They start in New York and then go to London and Milan and end in Paris. Natasha almost screams when she finds out she’s walking for Versace, even though the outfit is probably the worst out of them all.

“Pascal Millet is one of the easiest fashion houses that I’ve ever worked with,” Sharon gushes as they arrive at their hotel suite. “You’ll have a pretty smooth morning. Balenciaga is a little more stressful, just because their runway pieces are… _unique_, to say the least.”

“When this is all over, can we _please_ stuff ourselves with champagne and souffle and literally anything over a thousand calories?” Natasha asks as she plugs her phone into the nearest outlet.

“Well, _duh_,” Sharon says, “and then when we get back to New York, Shake Shack is definitely the move.”

Natasha settles into a sofa and calls Steve.

“How’s filming?”

“Pretty good,” Steve replies. “The action’s not that bad, but they won’t let me do the cool stuff. That’s all the stunt double. Other than that, it’s going smoothly. How’s Fashion Week?”

“Well, we’ve gotten to the hotel and I’m fucking _exhausted_,” Natasha says. “But Sharon and I have a whole plan of eating our body weight in junk food when this is over, so I’m hanging on by a thread.”

“Glad to hear it.” Steve chuckles from the other line. “I wish I could be there to support you.”

Natasha snorts. “I think Bucky and Thor would’ve wanted that for themselves.” Men’s Fashion Week ended a bit earlier so she didn’t get to see Bucky and Thor as much as she probably would have liked. 

“I agree,” Steve says, before sighing. “I miss you.”

“I know,” Natasha says, “I miss you too. It’s been too long.” She hasn’t seen him in a month and a half. She’s planning on flying to Atlanta from New York the day after she arrives back home. 

“I’m glad that you’re killing it on the runway and I’m having a blast on set, but we really need to figure out our timing,” Steve says with a chuckle.

Natasha leans back. “I know. Maybe you should make a movie about Fashion Week so that you can follow me around.”

“I _wish_,” Steve huffs. “That’d be fun. The two of us just traveling around the world.”

“It’s on the bucket list,” Natasha says, “but we’ll get through this.”

“Well, of course,” Steve says. “If Bucky’s dumbass can do this with Wanda, so can we.”

Natasha laughs. “You’re _terrible_, Steve.”

“But you love me.”

“_Unfortunately_.” Natasha sighs, overdramatically.

The last week of runway shows comes to an end and Natasha’s excited to stuff herself with food that a regular person would eat, but she’s also excited to hurry up and see Steve.

She surprises him by arriving an hour early in his trailer. She waits for him on his sofa, wearing absolutely nothing. She grins wickedly at him and Steve makes love to her until he’s called back on set.

Nonetheless, she’s loving this. 

* * *

Natasha’s career post-Fashion Week is starting off with a bang. She receives a call from the legend Donatella Versace herself who offers her an ambassador role in the fashion house. 

Steve rushes into his bedroom in concern when he hears the screaming. “What is it? Are you okay? Are you hurt?”

Natasha grabs a pillow from his bed and flings it at him, mouthing “_Shut up!_” over and over until he gets the message. “Yes, _yes_. Thank you so much, Ms. Versace. I am immensely grateful for the opportunity and I can’t wait to get started.”

She sets her phone down on the nightstand and squeals. “I’m working with _Versace!_”

Steve’s eyes widen and he scoops her in his arms, giving her a tight hug. “_Congratulations!_ I’m so fucking proud of you, Natasha.”

“I can’t believe it,” Natasha says in disbelief. “I’ve been signed for barely a year and I’ve already gotten to this point.”

“I told you that you were special,” Steve reminds her. “And you deserve it. Seriously.”

“I don’t know how this is real,” she looks at him with an incredulous expression on her face. “This is _real_, right? This isn’t a dream.”

Steve looks amused and shakes his head. “It’s a reality. It’s your world and we’re living it, Nat.” He pulls her into a kiss.

He caresses her chin and smiles. “You’re doing it. You’re living your dream.”

“We’re both living our dream,” Natasha says to him, “You’ve wrapped up your action film and one of your other films is coming out next month. We’re both doing it.”

Steve’s film is called “Down the Rabbit Hole.”

She grins at him. “I couldn’t be anymore prouder of you.”

“Speak for yourself, face of _Versace_,” Steve chuckles, “This calls for a celebratory dinner party.”

Natasha grabs his hand. “_Well_, before that, I think it calls for celebratory—”

Steve cuts her off with a passionate kiss and gently pushes her onto the bed. “I know.”

Their fame has been increasing over the last couple of months. Both of their social media presences have been expanding and Natasha credits that mostly to the fact that they’re both good looking. Steve’s an up and coming actor with great looks and Natasha’s a rising model who shined during Fashion Week. Steve’s been cast in a highly anticipated film and Natasha’s been in several campaigns for the most popular fashion brands. 

Still, he’s not on Sam’s level and she’s not on Sharon’s level where they actually have paparazzi following them around all the time but they are gaining some attention in New York.

They see each other’s names in the entertainment and fashion magazines. Their names pop up in online articles and they even have people commenting on their social media, showering them with compliments.

Being friends with Tony probably gives them the most attention. Even though he’s not in the entertainment industry, his family name is famous in Manhattan so whenever they’re with Tony in public, they’re always photographed.

Wanda and Pietro have been becoming a household name with their drama series and being out in public with them is also bring them notoriety. 

“Down the Rabbit Hole” comes out in June and even though he has a limited supporting role, he still attends all of the promotion events along with the rest of the cast. At the world premiere in Los Angeles, Natasha flies out with him to walk the red carpet with him.

Natasha’s extremely nervous because this is her first time on a big red carpet. She’s walked a few red carpets during Fashion Week, but this is different. 

“You look amazing,” Steve says in awe when he sees the dress that Natasha’s wearing.

“_Oh_, it’s not that special.” Natasha waves her hand dismissively. “But you look pretty dashing yourself.”

Steve chuckles, holding his arm out for her. “Ready?”

“Mhmm.”

She hasn’t been to Los Angeles in forever and she’s forgotten how much hotter it is there than in New York. Steve disagrees and says Manhattan’s concrete jungle is hotter, but Natasha hushes him, insisting that she’s a weather genius.

Since Steve isn’t the main actor or the most famous one, he’s not harassed as much as some of his co-stars and for that, they’re both thankful. It’s hot as hell outside and they really don’t want a million questions barked at them.

One reporter from some local publication does approach them and asks both of them questions. 

“Hi, Mr. Rogers. How are you?” The man asks loudly.

“Doing pretty great. Happy to be here,” Steve replies with a genuine smile on his face.

“Have you seen the whole movie in its entirety?” 

Steve shakes his head. “Nope. I have read the whole script though so I know what’s going on. I just haven’t seen the whole product.”

They talk about other stuff that Natasha personally finds a bit boring and she’s caught off guard when the man asks her a question.

“Natasha Romanoff, how does it feel to be taking the fashion industry by storm?”

She hadn’t been paying much attention so she freezes. “I’m sorry?”

Steve laughs and squeezes her hand.

The man chuckles and repeats his question. He adds, “We’ve seen your billboards all over LA and Versace’s announcement. Congratulations.”

“Oh, my apologies. It’s so hot that I kinda zoned out.” She lets out an awkward giggle and replies, “Thank you, though. It’s _great_. It’s definitely a lot to take in at once, but I’m loving every second of it and I couldn’t be any more grateful. Thanks for asking.”

“Of course,” the man says. “I bet both of you are finding reality hard to believe. Both of you are rising stars in your respective industries. What’s it like dating someone who’s going through similar experiences at you?”

Steve shrugs. “Well, I think having shared life experiences leads to a great connection with each other.”

Natasha nods and adds, “It’s very intimidating to be trying to make your mark in these tough industries so it’s nice to have him by my side. We’re having a lot of fun.”

Fun, yeah, but it’s also exhausting. After the red carpet premiere, they settled into the theater and watched the movie, which Natasha really liked.

“I’m so damn _tired_,” Steve mutters, as he yawns and stretches his arms.

“Me too,” Natasha says, as she cracks her knuckles. “That was fun, but _wow_. I think it’s the heat. It’s most definitely the heat taking a toll on us.”

“Probably.” Steve snorts. He starts scrolling through his phone and then turns to Natasha. “_Look_.”

Natasha peers at his phone and smiles. “We look good.”

Pictures from the premiere have already been released and there are several HD pictures of the two of them on the red carpet. 

“You look stunning,” Steve says as he presses his thumb over the photos to save them to his camera roll.

“So do you,” Natasha notes. “Send some of them to me. I’m gonna post them on Instagram.”

The next morning, she wakes up to tens of thousands of new Instagram followers. People have seen her pictures with Steve and comment all over it. She deduces that this is what fame is like.

They have their first major run-in with the paparazzi when Steve’s birthday comes around a month later. At this point, people on social media are picking up on who Steve and Natasha are. Paparazzi and regular New Yorkers begin to recognize them on the streets. They’re not being mobbed or anything like that, but they do have some recognition now.

Steve’s turning twenty-two years old and is celebrating at Stark Tower. When he and Natasha arrive at the building, there’s a group of paparazzi standing outside, seemingly waiting for them.

Natasha’s taken aback by all the camera flashes and all the shouting. They’re shouting both of their names and are rapidly taking pictures of them.

Steve holds her hand tightly as he leads them into the building. “_Wow_,” he says as the doors shut behind them. “Never dealt with that before.”

“It’s crazy,” Natasha says with a nod. 

“It comes with fame, losers,” Sam says, walking towards them. “I would say you get used to it, but that’s debatable.” 

“It’s not what I’m used to,” Steve admits.

Sam scoffs. “_Please_. You two are becoming more and more popular on social media. Hell, Steve, you even have _fan pages_ now. You better get accustomed to this.”

“Fan pages?” Natasha raises a brow. “_Fuck_. I need to make a Steve Rogers fan page.”

Steve rolls his eyes. “Please don’t.”

Natasha pretends to whimper. “But I just wanna support my boyfriend.”

Steve smirks. “Plenty of other ways for you to do that.”

“Sam, are they speaking in innuendo?” Thor asks from behind him. 

Sam turns around and huffs. “Of course.”

Thor snorts in amusement and then waves at the paparazzi lingering outside the window. “Well, come on, now. Time to get this party started.”

Soon enough, Natasha is ready for this party to end so that she can have her own private celebration with Steve in the comfort of his apartment. And they do. All night long. They have the marks on their bodies to prove it.

Soon enough, Natasha notices that their relationship is becoming serious. They’re spending a lot of time together and the media has seemed to realize that they’re not one of those couples that last a month. 

They’ve both been really busy during the past couple of months. He’s auditioning for films and she’s busy with another season of Fashion Week and more work with Versace. They spend as much time together when they’re not working and they get photographed a lot during the next few months.

But the one night they don’t get photographed at all is their favorite.

“Happy one year anniversary,” Natasha says as they cuddle in bed together after fucking each other’s brains out. “I love you.”

“Happy anniversary to you,” Steve responds, planting a kiss on her forehead. “I love you more.”

It’s perfect. They spent the whole day in his apartment, cooking together and watching movies and looking at the beautiful skyline on his balcony.

It’s one of the few nights they’ll get together before he’s due for reshoots for “The Renegades”. He’ll have to, unfortunately, miss her birthday, but they celebrate her twenty-first birthday alongside with their anniversary. She has a drink for him on her actual birthday. This is their system and it’s okay with both of them,

For _now_. 

* * *

To everyone’s surprise and utter delight, Sam’s most recent film, a historical drama, is nominated for a few major film awards. He, himself, is not nominated, but the fact that he’s apart of a Golden Globe, Screen Actors Guild, and Academy Award-nominated film is mind-blowing enough. 

Sharon hosts a viewing party for the three major award shows and Steve is only able to show up for the last one and probably the most important one, the Academy Awards.

Natasha hasn’t seen Steve since the holidays when he was on a break from reshoots and she’s been waiting impatiently for him to come back to New York. The paparazzi catch them strolling on the streets of Manhattan the day that he returns. 

They’re at Sharon’s apartment, watching the award show and Loki yelps when he sees Sam on the screen. “Look at him behind Matt Damon!”

“He looks so _dashing_,” Thor notes.

“Maria looks absolutely amazing in that gown. Prada did her well,” Pepper says with a wide grin on her face. 

They watch the whole show, even the boring parts, and Sam’s film has won one award so far for Best Sound Editing. 

They’re all silent as they watch Leonardo DiCaprio present the award for Best Picture. He introduces the nominees and Sam’s film is one of them. They cheer when they see the title on the screen. 

And then Leonardo announces the winner.

And it’s _Sam’s_ film.

Everyone erupts into cheers as they watch as the cast and crew, Sam included, walk onto the stage and accept the award. 

“_That’s our boy_,” Tony hollers, applauding. 

Natasha and Steve hug as joy overcome them. They’re so fucking happy for Sam and it makes them more excited for what’s to come for everyone’s future. 

Everything feels like a fairytale. It’s like they’re in delirium. Until they’re not.

They become busier. Natasha’s walking in shows and posing in shoots every day. Steve’s busy doing auditions and filming all the time. He has to promote his new film and Natasha has to honor all the responsibilities that come with her Versace contract.

She’s hopping around Europe for work and Steve’s been on his promotional tour all around the world. The distance is causing them problems because they can’t communicate as easily as they want. 

Phone calls are short because they always get interrupted and time zones make it difficult to connect, but they still try to get through it.

It’s worth it every time that they reunite. Being in each other’s arms and spending time with each other makes the distance worth it. Every reunion is special to them.

Natasha walks the red carpet with Steve and at this point, he’s one of the most talked-about new actors of Hollywood and she’s one of the most in-demand models in New York. People crowd around them, asking for pictures and interviews.

There are people “shipping” them on social media and every now and then, Natasha catches glimpses of awkward fan pages that seem to worship them religiously. It doesn’t quite bother her because she knows the price of fame but her life has changed so much in the past two years that sometimes it’s hard to keep up. 

They both get invited to the Met Gala along with their friends and Natasha feels like a princess in her Versace gown. She's wearing her hourglass necklace too. Steve looks dashing enough in his matching Versace tux. 

“Natasha! Look to your right!”

“Steve, over here!”

“Natasha, Natasha!”

“On your left, Steve!”

“Straight ahead, Natasha and Steve!”

Steve whispers into her ear. “This is absolutely _insane_.”

Natasha nods as they pose on the velvet steps. “_Damn right_.”

The next few months are filled with bliss. They celebrate birthdays with their friends and go on dates around the city. They have fun with their friends and support each other, with Natasha helping Steve learn lines for auditions and visits him on set and Steve going to Natasha’s shoots to cheer her on. They even move into a new apartment together and it feels like everything’s perfect.

Paparazzi is becoming a real issue for them, though. At this point, pretty much all of their friends have skyrocketed in fame. Wanda and Pietro’s television show is nominated for a dozen Emmy awards and Maria even got a nomination for Outstanding Guest Actress. 

Steve hosts the viewing party this time, but Natasha and Sharon aren’t able to attend because of Fashion Week. Everyone watches as Pietro basically acts as a fifth wheel to Bucky and Wanda and to Sam and Maria at the show. Sharon and Natasha refresh through Twitter throughout the night. 

Maria, unfortunately, doesn’t win the Emmy but just the experience of it is fun enough and when they return from Los Angeles, they forget all about the Emmys and focus on celebrating Sam’s birthday.

Natasha and Steve reunite at Sam’s birthday and things are okay. They’re spending time together again and Steve does have a new movie to film, but luckily, it’s filming in New York City.

“You have to visit me on set as much as you can and I’ll visit you at your set as much as I can,” Steve says. “We’re gonna make the time for each other.”

“We will,” Natasha says assuringly. “We can do this. If Will and Jada can do it, so can we.”

Steve laughs and kisses her lips. “We’ll never be as cool as the Smith family.”

“_Unfortunately_.”

Natasha thinks that they’re lucky that things are working out. She knows that there are many other celebrity couples that have it harder.

They’re definitely not perfect by any means, but they have it easier than they could be. They do have petty arguments about their schedules and there are few instances when they go to bed facing the opposite ends instead of each other.

They’ve been able to get through it all. Nothing has quite tested them to the point where they’re screaming at each other.

At least not yet.

* * *

The new year doesn’t start off on a strong note, opposite to the end of last year. They’ve been dating for a little over two years when Natasha realizes that they’re facing a major problem.

Their schedules are driving them apart. Steve misses her Fashion Week shows in February because filming for his next movie got pushed back. 

Natasha is unable to support him during the promo tour for one of his movies because she’s caught up with her obligations to Versace.

It bothers her that they’ve barely spent time together and in April, they get into an argument.

“This isn’t fucking working,” Natasha groans, throwing her hands up in frustration. “We _never_ get to see each other.”

“We can make this work,” Steve insists. “I’m done filming and the promo tour for my last movie is long over. You don’t have anything major like Fashion Week until September. We have all this time.”

“_Yeah_, until June when you have to go and film a sequel to ‘The Renegades’. You’re gonna be gone for four months plus reshoots. And then you also have to promote your other movie, ‘Echoes of Chaos’, and that press tour’s gonna be like a month-long,” Natasha says. 

“We’ve been making this work for over two years. We can keep doing this.”

Natasha sighs. “But Steve, I don’t _want_ to. I don’t want to be like this. I know that we can make long-distance happen but I don’t want us to keep being away from each other. 

Steve sighs. “We’re both contractually obligated to do these things.”

“I know,” Natasha says, “and it fucking _sucks_.”

“What do you want us to do?” Steve asks with a defeated expression on his face. “How do we go on from here?” He’s asking, but from the look on his face, Natasha knows that he already knows the answer.

Natasha crosses her arms. “We both already know.”

“We’ll be friends. This could definitely work again in the future. It just won’t right now.”

“_Maybe_.”

He nods in understanding and they hug before bidding each other good luck and goodbye. She says that she’ll have movers come later to pack her things up. 

Natasha cries that night. 

Their friends are all surprised to hear that they broke up but they respect their privacy and they don’t bother them for answers or explanations. 

Natasha wakes up a few days before the Met Gala and sees that TMZ has published an article announcing their split and she groans. She wishes she could keep her private life private. People comment sympathetic things on her Instagram page and even though she knows that they mean well, it annoys the hell out of her. 

She shows up to the Met Gala by herself and her solo appearance seems to trigger the media and people on the Internet to continue commenting on her personal life. People comment on her Instagram page, saying that she needs to delete her pictures with Steve. Natasha deletes the Instagram app on her phone instead.

It’s not like she and Steve ended up bad terms but she hates having people make assumptions about her personal life. She hates how people think they have a right to know everything about her. 

Steve understands that as well. He texts her a week after the Met Gala and apologizes for all the rumors and the articles and the media, but Natasha refuses to blame him. She knows that the media is toxic so it doesn’t surprise her. 

They’re still friends. They both know that. They decide to release a joint statement to People Magazine to assure people that they’re fucking fine so that people won’t nose into their personal lives and it seems to work.

Natasha and Steve get along well and are civil with each other at their friends’ birthday parties and brunches and dinner parties. Steve congratulates her for her modeling success and Natasha raves to him about how good his new movie is. She continues to work hard and walks again during Fashion Week in the fall. He films another movie during that time. 

She’s grateful that they’re not awkward with each other. She’s thankful that they didn’t make things awkward for the friend group. She’s just glad in general that they didn’t ruin their friendship.

So, it makes sense that when the time came that they weren’t busy, that they were able to reconnect. Natasha has her friends celebrate her birthday at Blue Ribbon Brasserie in SoHo and by the time the night ends, she’s leaving with Steve, holding his hand. They ignore the paparazzi as they get into the car.

“I missed you so much,” Steve whispers into her ear.

“I missed you too,” Natasha says, softly. 

“I’m glad we’re giving this another go because I really think we can make this work,” Steve says.

Natasha nods. “I do, too.” She’s gotten to the point in her career where she’s lucky enough that she doesn’t have to book every show she can to make a living. She’s fortunate enough to have earned enough money that she can spend less time on the runway. She’s been in contract negotiations with L’Oreal to become a brand ambassador and she’s even picked up on sewing again in her free time.

Steve’s also decided that he doesn’t want to do too many films in a short period of time. He’s filmed the sequel to his movie and has already risen in prominence, so now he wants to focus on films that actually mean something to him.

“I’m really proud of you, you know,” Steve says. “Bucky showed me your campaign for Versace. You looked absolutely incredible.”

“I looked insane,” Natasha laughs. “It was colorful as hell.”

“To say the least, yeah,” Steve says, “but you still looked beautiful.”

Natasha looks over at him. “You were incredible in ‘Echoes of Chaos’. Everyone agrees with me. You’re one of the leading contenders for an Oscar.”

“I’m flattered, but it’s not gonna happen.”

“Yeah, it _will_.” She looks at him like he’s crazy. “You’re so gifted and talented. The Academy would be a fool not to recognize that.”

She reaches out and touches his cheek. “You’re one of the most talented actors ever even with a small filmography. I believe in you.”

Steve smiles. “Thank you. You know that I believe in you, too. You’re one of the top models of your age and you’re only gonna do better as you continue on.”

She had missed this. She had missed being able to have these intimate moments with him.

“I love you.”

“I love you more.”

“That’s not possible.”

“Yes, it is, Steve.”   


* * *

Natasha’s right. Steve gets nominated for a Golden Globe Award, a Screen Actor’s Guild Award, and an Academy Award for Best Actor. Everyone’s absolutely ecstatic and congratulates Steve.

He doesn’t win the Golden Globe or the SAG, but Natasha’s there at both awards show and that leads to him being one of the most discussed actors on Twitter. 

Everyone had already known that Steve and Natasha were back together, but this is their first public appearance since the photos from her birthday. All of the tabloids publish articles about them getting back together and Natasha notices many people commenting stuff on her Instagram accounts.

She sighs and mindlessly scrolls through Twitter on her phone. 

“Honestly, I can’t be mad about losing if Denzel Washington wins,” Steve says after they arrive back to their apartment. Natasha moved back in after they got back together. She knows it’s early but she’s known him for years now so she doesn’t rethink it. 

“You still have a shot, Steve,” Natasha says, nudging him. 

“It’s the _Oscars_,” Steve says, giving her a look. “Denzel’s gonna sweep.”

Natasha shrugs. “You never know.”

She smirks when Amy Adams announces Steve as the winner at the Oscars. Steve’s eyes widen and he’s in complete shock as Natasha pulls him into a hug.

“I told you,” she murmurs into his ear before he leans down and kisses her.

“_Oh my God_,” Steve says in utter disbelief.

On his left, Sam pats him on the back and exclaims, “Let’s fucking _go_, Steve!”

Steve makes his way up the steps and accepts the award and stands at the mic. “_Oh my God_… I… I don’t know what to say.” He turns towards where Denzel Washington is sitting and says, “Denzel, I thought you were gonna sweep all the awards. I didn’t even begin to think about what I would say if I won.”

The audience laughs and Natasha finds nervous Steve to be _extremely_ adorable.

“Um, _well_, I guess I should start with the usual. Thank you so much to the Academy for this amazing recognition. I—”

Natasha’s heart swells in pride and there are tears forming at the ends of her eyes as she watches a flustered Steve give his speech.

He meets her glance and finishes his speech saying, “and lastly, I have to thank Natasha Romanoff. I couldn’t be any more grateful for your love and support over the past few years. You’ve been my rock since the beginning of my career and I can’t wait to make more memories with you. I **love** you.”

At this point, Natasha is choking back sobs and Maria has to hold her hand to get her to relax. 

“That was _so_ adorable, though,” Maria squeals. 

“That was fucking perfect,” Sam says and Natasha agrees.

The next few months are perfect. They attend the Met Gala together and Coulson tells them that they were the most tweeted about couple at the event. 

“I’m glad you guys were able to patch things up,” Bucky says, slinging an arm around Wanda’s shoulders. “You guys are _really_ good together.”

“Thank you,” Natasha says with a smile. “Things are gonna be different this time.”

“_Good_, because we don’t want anything to ever happen between you two again,” Wanda says, warningly. 

Steve snorts in amusement. “Don’t you worry about us, Wanda.”

They're living in delirium. Everything is perfect.

The next few months are good. Natasha visits Steve as he films a very short, supporting role for a film in Washington, D.C. and he visits her while she’s shooting back home in Manhattan. They’re naturally connecting really well again and things are going quite well.

They’re at Tony’s penthouse, hanging out with one of their friends when Pepper groans loudly in the middle of a discussion about what Bruce and Clint have been up to.

“What is it?” Jane raises a brow. 

“TMZ and all of the other tabloids are writing a bunch of _garbage_ again,” Pepper replies, using the Stark technology to put her phone screen on display. 

Natasha rolls her eyes when she sees the fake headlines on the screen. “Do they not have anything better to do than makeup lies?”

“_Damn_, Steve. You are _quite_ the cheater. And Natasha, _wow_, what a liar you are.” Loki guffaws at the sight of the screen. “It’s very cool to learn these new things about you two.”

Natasha glares at him and chortles. “Must be a slow news day back in Hollywood.”

“Look at the pictures that they used for the cheating Steve article,” Sharon laughs. “It’s literally just Steve standing next to his co-star.”

“Daisy’s gonna find this _hilarious_,” Steve says with an amused expression on his face. He reaches out and takes her hand into his. “Love you, Nat.”

Natasha sticks her tongue out at him. “_Cheater!_”

It’s funny in the present, but not funny later.

Natasha visits Steve in Boston on the set of his new film, “Snake Charmer” and she meets Daisy Johnson, who’s very nice and from what she’s witnessed, also very talented. Daisy mentions the cheating accusations and laughs them off as the most ridiculous thing ever. 

A few days later, Natasha also realizes that Daisy and Steve are quite _close_. In between takes, they laugh at inside jokes and hang out in their trailers together. Natasha feels like a third wheel with them. She doesn’t want to suspect Steve of cheating and she highly doubts that that’s going on, but she’s not really comfortable with how close he seems to Daisy.

At craft services, Natasha’s picking at a fruit cup while Steve and Daisy are sharing chicken tenders and French fries. 

“You have ketchup on your lip,” Steve says in between laughs.

Daisy tries to lick her lip but Steve shakes his head.

“You’re aiming wrong,” Steve snickers.

Daisy giggles. 

Steve reaches for her with his thumb and wipes the ketchup off. “There you go.”

“Thanks, buddy,” Daisy playfully kicks his foot with hers. 

Natasha’s chest tightens. He’s been giving Daisy more attention than Natasha the whole time she’s been here. She tunes them out as they continue discussing whatever the hell it was and her mind wanders to the stress she’s feeling over Fashion Week.

She doesn’t even realize that Daisy asked her a question until Steve nudges her. “Nat.”

“Huh?” Natasha snaps out of her thoughts.

“How’s the modeling going? I saw your campaign for Versace and your ad for L’Oreal,” Daisy repeats herself.

“_Oh_,” Natasha says. She gives a small shrug. “It’s good.”

If Steve notices her demeanor, he says nothing. 

“The fashion industry sounds so cool. I mean, it’s so artistic and the visuals are so cool,” Daisy says, “but I could never do it. It sounds cool, but I know it’s also so unhealthy. The body image bullshit and all that. I couldn’t survive it.”

Natasha has no idea what to say to that.

“Natasha’s got it,” Steve speaks up, “Brave soul.”

It’s supposed to be a compliment and she knows that but she doesn’t say anything. She just forces a smile.

“I’m gonna go give Sharon a call,” Natasha says, “I’ll be in your trailer.”

Steve nods. “Alright. Daisy and I were gonna go get dinner after filming ends today. You’re coming with us, right?”

He has to _ask_ her? She’s his girlfriend and he has to _ask?_ Natasha tries to look unfazed as she nods. “Of course.”

She turns around and exits, scoffing as she makes her way to his trailer.

She spends a couple of hours in there and kills time by watching one of Maria’s movies on Netflix and watching an episode of Wanda and Pietro’s TV show.

Eventually, she hears the sound of Steve’s trailer door opening and she sees her boyfriend walk in with Daisy behind him.

“Hey, Nat. Are you ready to go?” Steve asks as he takes his shirt off.

“_Whoa there_, Rogers,” Daisy laughs. “Not here.”

Steve smiles cheekily at her. “Nat doesn’t care.”

“But _I_ do,” Daisy says, pretending to shove him. “This is inappropriate.”

Steve smirks.

Natasha forces a smile on her face as she unplugs her phone. 

Steve turns around and grabs a shirt lying on the sofa. He slips it on and then motions for her to follow them. “Come on, Nat.”

Natasha nods but says nothing as she follows them out of the trailer. She says nothing during the Uber ride there and barely utters a word except when they’re ordering food.

Daisy and Steve don’t even seem to notice her silence at first until Natasha excuses herself to go to the restroom. “I’ll be back in a minute,” she mutters.

She stares at her reflection in the mirror and frowns at herself. She doesn’t know what the hell’s going on. Things have been perfect with Steve but now it just doesn’t feel right at all. She doesn’t like the way that Daisy smiles at him and the way that he laughs at her jokes. 

She’s still pretty sure that he’s not cheating. He doesn’t give off any clues of guilt or secrecy, but she’s not comfortable with how close they are. It’s not like her friendship with Bucky or his friendship with Wanda. It’s much closer. If she didn’t know Steve, she would have thought that he was dating Daisy.

She crosses her arms and says to her reflection, “You’re Natasha fucking Romanoff. You came all this way from Russia to follow your dreams. You’re better than this.”

She exits the bathroom and sits back down next to Steve.

“You alright?” Steve raises a brow.

“_Yeah, yeah_,” she says, assuringly. 

Steve plants a kiss on her forehead. “Well, alright. Daisy and I were talking about traveling and I mentioned you and Russia. She wants to hear about Russia.”

Natasha’s annoyed that she’s being asked to be a fucking Wikipedia page about Russia, but at least Steve’ll give her attention so she rattles off some facts and stories about her country.

Steve doesn’t seem to notice the icy look in her eyes.

They make it back to the hotel where the cast and crew are staying at. Steve, being the perfect fucking gentleman, walks Daisy to her room and has a long conversation with her before returning to his suite.

The same thing happens the next day. And the next. And the next. On the fifth day, she decides to just stay in the hotel all day. She tells Steve that she just has a headache from stress and he believes that.

She spends the day googling “Steve rogers daisy johnson” and looking at paparazzi pictures. She stares at them as she imagines scenarios that she knows she shouldn’t but she couldn’t help it.

Eventually, it’s midnight and she hears the door open.

Natasha’s laying on the bed with the lights on, frowning at the ceiling.

“Natasha?”

She doesn’t bother to look in his direction. “Yeah.”

Steve sighs. “What’s wrong? You’ve been moody for the past few days.”

“_Moody?_” Natasha’s brows furrow.

“Yeah,” Steve nods, taking a seat on the edge of the bed. “Whenever you were on set, you seemed really annoyed. You barely talked to me and Daisy.”

“Oh.”

Steve frowns and looks closely at her. “Is there a problem, Nat? Talk to me.”

Natasha sits up. “So, _now_ you want to talk to me?”

“What are you talking about?” Steve looks genuinely confused.

“You and Daisy _barely_ spoke to me these past five days. You two were too busy having your own conversations and didn’t bother to try and include me in any of them,” Natasha says. 

Steve’s eyebrows scrunch. “We tried, but—”

“_Barely_,” Natasha interrupts, “I feel like I’ve been third-wheeling you two this whole time.”

“Natasha, we weren’t trying to make you feel excluded at all. We didn’t even know you were feeling this way. It’s just that she and I have our own inside jokes and stuff and we—”

“Yeah, I could tell,” she interjects. “It’s kinda funny to just watch you guys talk. I can see why the paparazzi made up those cheating rumors. It makes sense.”

Steve looks horrified. “Nat, Daisy and I are just _friends_. We’re not involved in any way. I can promise you that.”

“Why are you literally spending all of your free time with her? I had to beg Donatella Versace, herself, to give me a week off so that I could spend time with you,” Natasha says, icily, “but all you do is talk to _her_.”

“It’s not just her,” Steve says, “I’m spending time with the cast and crew too.”

Natasha rolls her eyes. “You don’t get the point.”

“The point is that I’m not cheating on you,” Steve says. “That’s all.”

Natasha shakes her head. “No, it’s _not_. Steve, I’m fucking _annoyed_. You know that time is a luxury that we don’t have an abundance of, so what I’m asking you is why you’re choosing to ignore me and spend all your time with everyone else.”

“I’ll probably barely ever see most of the people involved in this production ever again,” Steve says, “but I’ll always have _you_. I want to cherish the time I have with these people on set.”

Natasha understands that, but she’s still irritated. “Then why did you even bother to invite me here? I literally have nothing to do here.”

“You didn’t have to come,” Steve says.

Natasha narrows her eyes at him. “_What?_ I didn’t have to come to support my boyfriend at his movie set. I guess I shouldn’t because you haven’t visited me half as many times as I’ve visited you.”

“Natasha, what is this really about? What are you trying to say?” Steve looks impatient. “I’m not cheating on you. I’m glad you’re here. I’m sorry that I’m not being attentive enough. That was wrong of me and I _apologize_.”

Natasha sighs. “I believe you. I _do_. It’s just the fucking tabloids. The _media_. They’re all getting to me. It just doesn’t help to see you so close to her.”

Steve reaches out to gently touch her wrist. “I know. They’re butting their heads into our business and I hate it too.” His hand moves up to her chin and he steadies it so she looks up at him. “Just trust me. I would _never_ do anything to hurt you.”

Natasha nods. “I know.”

“We’re not gonna let the media destroy what we have. Our connection is too strong for us to just let the tabloids fuck it up,” Steve says. “It won’t happen.”

“It won’t,” Natasha says confidently.

“You’re the _only_ one for me, Nat,” Steve tells her truthfully, “ever since you almost spilled coffee on me.”

Natasha chuckles.

“I love you.”

“I know you do.”

“Natasha—”

“I love you _more_.”

And in the dark night, Steve embraces her, murmuring into her ear. Natasha finds herself at peace again.

* * *

To her relief, she and Steve are doing good for the next six months. They don’t have any major fights and they’re having a good time with each other during their dates. They’ve moved on from the Daisy situation and she would actually admit that it made their relationship stronger.

Steve’s onset of her Versace shoot and Natasha laughs at how Donatella is making fun of his outfit. The photographer takes pictures of her laughing and Donatella picks those for the editorial.

“Well, would you look at that,” Natasha snickers, “Your shitty fashion sense has made Donatella happy.”

“She’s an intimidating woman,” Steve says, wrapping an arm around her. “But I’m glad.”

They walk out together and take on the streets of New York. They get mobbed by some paparazzi when they get near Midtown and Steve wraps his other arm around her as she helps her get through the crowd.

Natasha barely hears it but she catches someone mutter, “She’s been gaining weight.” Her chest tightens as Steve leads her into Wanda and Bucky’s apartment building.

“Don’t they have any cooler people to chase around? Like the _Kardashians_,” Steve scoffs as they pass the front desk and make it to the guest entrance.

“I guess not,” Natasha says with a small shrug.

Steve rambles on about how annoying the paparazzi are as they step into the elevator and click on the floor number that their best friends live on. 

They step out and knock on the door. Wanda opens the door and is ecstatic to see them.

“Hey, hey, hey!” She moves aside to let them in. “Babe! They’re here.”

Bucky looks over from where he’s sitting on the sofa. “What’s up?”

“Hey Buck,” Steve greets him as Wanda hands him a beer.

“Natasha, you want something? We have some—” Wanda begins to ask.

Natasha shakes her head. “It’s fine.”

“You sure?” Wanda raises a brow.

Natasha nods.

They settle into the living room and begin talking about what’s new in their lives. Tony and Pepper are engaged, which is exciting. Wanda reveals that Thor is planning on proposing to Jane and that Sam is thinking about proposing to Maria.

Natasha frowns. “Wanda, how the hell do you know this?”

Wanda shrugs and jokes, “I can read minds.”

Bucky looks at his girlfriend and raises a brow. “Wanda, doll?”

“I made them tell me,” Wanda answers, “They were having a very quiet discussion when they came over for brunch last week and I forced it out of them. I threatened to burn their bacon.”

“I always knew Sam was weak,” Steve says sarcastically.

“When is Thor’s proposal gonna happen?” Natasha raises a brow.

Wanda snorts. “Who knows? He may look like the most intimidating person ever, but he’s shy and _soft_ so who knows when he’ll grow the balls to finally pop the question to Jane.”

Bucky nods. “That _is_ true. He’s not like Tony where it was spontaneous and weird.”

“That was an interesting dinner,” Steve recalls.

Eventually, Steve and Natasha leave and while they’re in the elevator of their building, going up to their floor, he asks her, “What do you want to eat for dinner?”

Natasha suddenly remembers the comment she heard earlier. She scratches the back of her neck awkwardly. “I don’t know…”

“Are you okay?” Steve raises a brow.

“Have I gained weight?” Natasha asks.

Steve blinks, clearly not expecting to have been asked that. “What?”

“You heard me.”

“_Uh_… why are you asking me this?”

“I’m in the fashion industry, Steve. These are things that I have to think about,” Natasha replies, simply.

The elevator reaches their floor and they step out.

Steve still looks confused. “You look great, Nat. _Beautiful_. Don’t worry about weight gain.”

“So, you’re saying I gained weight.”

“How would I know that you gained any weight? You’ve always been skinny with curves. You’re definitely not fifty pounds heavier, I can guarantee you _that_.” Poor Steve looks so lost. He wonders if this is a trap. 

Natasha groans as she unlocks the door and lets them inside their apartment. “Steve, you literally see me _naked_ every single day. _Clearly_, you would notice if I was gaining weight.”

Steve shrugs. “Nat, you’re perfect to me. I wouldn’t notice if you gained, like, five pounds.”

She rolls her eyes. “Stay still. Right there.” She slips her fingers to the hems of her shirt and pulls it off, leaving her in a red lacy bra. She slips off her black leggings, leaving her in matching panties. “Do I look like I’ve gained any weight? Does my stomach have any more fat in it?”

“Are you trying to seduce me?”

“_Steve!_”

Steve holds his hands up in defense. “Natasha, I don’t know what you want me to tell you. Your stomach is _flat_. Your legs are thin as _hell_. You still have curves. I don’t know why you’re asking me to find flaws with you.”

“I hate men,” Natasha grumbles. She crosses her arms over her chest. “I’m a _model_, Steve. I have to be perfect.”

Steve walks towards her and caresses her cheek with his hand. “You’re perfect to me no matter what. You look beautiful, Nat, and right now, with you just wearing that, you look so fucking sexy. I’m not gonna tell you that you’re fat or whatever because you’re not. And if you did gain a couple of pounds, it doesn’t matter. You still look perfect.”

Natasha sighs. “Thanks.”

He looks into her green eyes. “If you’re insecure about your body, that’s perfectly understandable given your profession, but you just need to know that the standards set by the fashion industry don’t define you or your worth. So don’t worry about gaining a couple of pounds. You’re a beautiful person inside and out and you’re an amazing friend to everyone. That’s _all_ that matters.”

Natasha pulls him into a hug. “Thank you, Steve. I appreciate it.”

“I’m glad,” Steve says, softly.

He lets go of her and smirks. “Why don’t you let me appreciate you?”

“You’re _pathetic_,” Natasha jokes.

Steve ignores her and takes off his shirt. He sets her on top of the dining room table and kisses her.

A week later, Anna Wintour calls her and tells her that she wants her and Steve to be the cover models for the May issue of  _ Vogue _ . Natasha’s in utter disbelief and Steve is shocked that he’s being asked to join her.

“Your first cover of Vogue!” Sharon exclaims. “I’m so happy for you! I’m also sorry you have to share it with this _heathen_—” she gestures to Steve, “—but I had to do my first Vogue cover with Bucky so I guess it’s just whatever. Heathens for us both.”

“Excuse me, Sharon? _Heathen?_” Bucky looks up from his bagel at her. “_Rude_, much? If I’m a heathen, what was Thor like during your cover with him?”

“A Greek _God_,” Sharon says, winking at him. She turns to Jane. “You’re one hell of a lucky woman.”

“_Oh_, I know,” Jane says, pulling Thor into a kiss. 

Bucky rolls his eyes. “I hate you, Carter.”

Sharon ruffles a hand through his hair. “You wish, Barnes.”

“Babe, play nice,” Wanda says, giving him a nudge.

“_Seriously_,” Pepper adds, “Heathen is a _very_ nice term.”

Bucky scoffs. “Are all the women gonna gang up on me?”

Everyone chuckles.

“Congratulations, though,” Maria says, “You two are gonna look so good on the cover.”

“That’s if they actually can pose together long enough before they start ripping each other’s clothes off,” Sam says, snorting in amusement.

“I hate you,” Natasha says.

“Oh, I know, sweetheart,” Sam smirks. 

A few weeks later, they’re posing in front of townhouses in Brooklyn. Natasha’s not surprised to see that this whole posing and looking good thing is coming quite naturally for Steve. They’re styled by Versace, _surprise surprise_, and Natasha’s sure that the outtakes look good. 

A few hours later, they’re sitting down with a Vogue reporter in a cafe that Steve and Natasha were familiar with. Steve has been frequenting it ever since he was a child.

They answer questions simply. Steve talks about his films. Natasha talks about her fashion career. Steve talks about his dreams of where he wants his acting career to go. He mentions that directing is something he wants to get into. Natasha reflects on her previous dream to design clothes and says that it’s something she’s still hoping to do in the future.

When the magazine comes out, Natasha’s in awe at how great the cover and spread is.

“We look good,” Steve says with a smirk, as he flips through the magazine. “_Hm_. I’m still young. I could get into modeling.”

“Thor and Bucky would _never_ let you steal their thunder,” Natasha says, tapping him on the nose.

Steve shrugs. “I guess they gotta do better then.” He shows her a specific shot of the two of them. “Now, _this_ is a good one.”

Natasha smiles. “It is. I like that one.”

The article title labels them as the perfect, most gorgeous couple. “Perfect is overrated, but could they be any more perfect together?” Steve reads aloud.

Natasha laughs.

And _clearly_, it must have really been such a hilarious sentence, because in August, everything goes to _shit_. 

She doesn’t know how it happened. It’s not like anything new happened. Steve’s doing his acting thing and she’s doing her modeling thing, but suddenly, it just stops working for the both of them.

“You’re not here anymore,” Natasha says to him, throwing her hands up in frustration.

“Neither are _you_,” Steve says, “You’re always jetting off to London or Tokyo or São Paulo. You’re always gone too.”

“It’s my job.”

“It’s mine, too.”

Natasha sighs. “The tabloids keep talking shit. They keep making up these fucking stories and they use our schedules to support them. US Weekly thinks that you abandoned me while I’m pregnant. The Sun thinks that I’ve kicked you out of our apartment.”

“I told you, Natasha,” Steve says, “We can’t let the tabloids do this to us.”

“How can we stop it?” Natasha asks. “We’re never around each other. Both of us are always _so_ busy. We barely made it to Tony and Pepper’s wedding.’

“We just have to figure it out,” Steve replies. “We can do this.”

“We’re not here anymore. It’s not the same.”

Steve sighs. “Nat, I don’t know if it could ever be completely the same again.”

“What are you saying?”

“We try _so_ hard to make things go back to the way they used to be, but we can’t really do that anymore. We were just two dreamers trying to make it big in our industries. We’re not like that anymore,” Steve responds. “We aren’t those people anymore. We’re different people and now we have to figure it out a different way.”

Natasha inhales. “I don’t know if we can.”

Steve takes a deep breath. “We can try.”

“We could,” Natasha says, “but nothing will change the fact that you’re busy doing your thing and I’m busy doing mine. We can’t just wait it out or wing it.”

Steve pauses and then asks, “So we’re breaking up?”

“Isn’t it the best thing to do?”

“Maybe.”

“We’re not the dreamers anymore,” Natasha says. “We have to grow up. As you said, we’re not the people we used to be.”

“Move on with our lives, move on from the past,” Steve says.

Natasha nods.

“I’m sorry.”

“So am I.”

Their relationship is over for the second time.

* * *

Natasha moves out of the apartment again and settles in an apartment in the Upper West Side, which gives her more privacy than Chelsea.

She and Steve are at peace and there’s no anger or hatred towards each other, which she’s eternally grateful for. They remain friends and for the second time, all of their friends respect that. They understand that Steve and Natasha don’t want to make things awkward for the friend group. 

Natasha knows that they most likely find the dynamic weird but they don’t say anything. 

“Are you ever gonna talk about?” Wanda asks her a month later while they’re eating breakfast together.

“What?”

“_Steve_. Are you ever gonna talk to me about it?” Wanda clarifies. “You don’t have to, but I know it’s always good to talk to a friend.”

Natasha licks her lips. “I don’t think there’s anything to talk about. It’s the distance. It’s our schedules. It won’t work out between us. We don’t want either of us to end up hurt in the long run if we drag something on that shouldn’t be dragged on.”

Wanda looks at her sympathetically. “I’m sorry.”

Natasha shrugs. “Sometimes, it just doesn’t work. It fucking _sucks_, but I don’t want my friendship with him to be ruined and this is the best thing we can do to make sure that doesn’t happen.”

“Are you gonna be okay?” Wanda asks.

“Of course.” She can feel the hourglass necklace pressing against her skin. It's weird.

“You know that I’m always gonna be here for you. It’s _you_ first, Bucky second.”

Natasha chuckles. “He wouldn’t want to hear that.”

“Well, it’s the truth,” Wanda says. “I’ll always be a shoulder for you to cry on.”

“I’m grateful,” Natasha says, “but I’ll be okay. I’m a busy girl. I’m not looking for love. I’m still _young_. I have the time.”

She doesn’t go actively seeking companionship, but it does find her three months later. She’s doing a photoshoot for Louis Vuitton and there she meets a fellow model named Matt Murdock. 

“Natasha Romanoff,” Matt says to her before the shoot. “I’ve heard so many great things about you and I’ve seen a lot of your work. I’m excited to work with you.”

“Face of Calvin Klein,” Natasha says, “I’m pretty excited to work with you too.”

Matt smirks. “Face of Versace. That’s pretty damn impressive.”

“Guess you gotta catch up, then,” Natasha says with a sly smile on her face. 

After a successful shoot, Matt asks her out for some tea and Natasha’s hesitant but he’s charming as hell so says yes. She warns him that this isn’t a date, though. He assures her that he knows that.

To her godforsaken luck, the paparazzi catch them at Starbucks and she has to deal with people commenting on her Instagram asking what happened with her and Steve. Their breakup had been announced a few days after it happened, but she knows people still “ship” them or whatever.

She also has to deal with questions from her friends. She assures them that it was just two co-workers hanging out.

And that’s all it was. Until a month later.

Matt’s _so_ damn charming and she decides to just hell with it and go on a date with him in January. She realizes that she actually does like him and when she finds out that Steve is dating an actress, Darcy Lewis, she decides to just hell with it. _Date the damn dud_e.

So, she and Matt make their red carpet debut at the Cannes film festival. It’s not like either of them have a true purpose there, but models get invited there all the time for some reason. 

Steve and Darcy just so happen to be there too but it seems that he is avoiding her, the same way that she is avoiding him because they don’t even cross paths once. She knows that the tabloids have some articles written up about them, but she doesn’t even bother to check social media or the Internet, in general, after the festival ends. All she needs is confirmation from Sharon who tells her that there’s been gossiping about them.

She barely sees Steve while she’s with Matt. They’re both busy doing their own thing so they’re barely ever at the same place. 

She and Matt make it to November when things start to hit a rough patch. She gets along with him just fine and their sex life is fine and his personality is fine, but she doesn’t know if she actually wants to stay in this relationship. Sometimes it seems like she and Matt are just really good friends who have sex. 

Matt seems to notice her distance and they sit down and talk it out.

“This isn’t gonna work, is it?” He asks her.

Natasha shrugs. “I honestly don’t know.”

“_I_ do,” Matt says. “I love you, Natasha, but I’m not in love with you. I think that it’s the same for you.”

“Matt—”

“Our relationship has run its course,” Matt says. “It’s fine. It really is. I just want us to be on the same page. I want both of us to understand.”

Natasha sighs. “I wish this was easier.”

“I do, too.” Matt nods. “But you and I both know we’re not meant to be. I’ll always care for you, Natasha. I hope we stay friends, but we’re both better off.”

“I’m sorry, Matt.”

“Don’t be.”

Natasha cocks her head to the side. “I hope you and Elektra figure things out.”

“Elektra?” He raises a brow. 

“She was a big part of your life.”

“I know Steve was a big part of yours.”

Natasha shakes her head. “I don’t know if that’s even a thing anymore.”

“I don’t know if me and Elektra have any chances left.” Matt gives her a knowing look. “We’ll both figure it all out. You’ll always have me, Nat.”

“_Always_,” Natasha says with a nod.

Their relationship ends there. The next day, the tabloids and social media are talking up a storm but Natasha chooses to ignore it all. 

“Did you know that Steve and Darcy broke up a couple of weeks ago?” Pepper asks her.

Natasha raises a brow. “I didn’t.”

Steve’s been filming a movie in London for the past few months so she hadn’t heard much about him. 

“He said they both just naturally drifted apart,” Pepper says.

“That sucks for them. Is he okay?”

“Of course. You’re okay, too, right?”

“Of course.”

Pepper pauses and then says, “He’s wrapped up filming. He’ll be here for the holidays.”

Natasha frowns. “Why are you telling me this?”

Pepper just smiles and doesn’t answer the question. Natasha knows why.

A couple of weeks later, Tony’s hosting a holiday party and that’s when she reunites with Steve after over a year of barely ever talking to each other, let alone seeing each other.

“It’s been a while,” Steve notes.

“Sure has,” Natasha says.

“I heard about you and Matt. Are you okay?” He asks.

Natasha nods. “Wasn’t meant to be. He’s a great guy, just not for me.”

“Understandable,” Steve says. “That’s how Darcy was like for me.”

“What are you gonna do now?” She asks and she doesn’t know why.

Steve shrugs. “No rush. I’m not searching.”

“You’re getting closer to thirty every year, Steve. You’re twenty-eight now.”

“Are you implying that I’m _old?_”

Natasha chuckles. “Maybe.”

He grins and Natasha feels weak at the knees. “_So_ mean.”

They engage in small talk as they update each other on their lives. It’s nice to listen to Steve talk and it feels like old times to just talk about life with him.

They share a few drinks and dance together and she knows everyone’s watching them, but she can’t bring herself to care. She’s just trying to have some fun.

“I missed you,” he murmurs into her ear, before spinning her out. He spins her back into his arms.

“I missed you too,” Natasha says, linking her arms around his neck.

“I missed _us_,” he confesses.

Natasha purses her lips and stares at him.

“You don’t have to say anything to that. I just wanted to be honest with you.”

“I’ll be honest with you too, then.”

Steve raises a brow.

“I love you.” She points to the hourglass necklace hanging over of her neck. 

“I _never_ stopped loving you.”

He smiles at her and it’s that damned smile that has her all tripped up. His brows furrow, as if he’s asking permission for something. 

She nods and he kisses her like there’s no tomorrow.

* * *

It’s not like normal. It’s not like the past. Natasha’s relationship with Steve isn’t what she had thought it was gonna be. They’re not in a real relationship. They’re just on and off. 

It’s still their schedules fucking with them. They’re happy with the fun that they’re having with each other but it’s not nearly the same as it used to be. She knows that she shouldn’t keep thinking about the past and wishing it were here, but she can’t help but to compare.

The tabloids and social media definitely erupted when word got around that Steve and Natasha were back together. They ignored all the talk, as usual, but Natasha knew that they were being judgemental on there. She tries not to think about that.

She knows that she and Steve aren’t perfect, but she doesn’t want to be filled with any negativity that could ruin them.

Natasha still wants to disband the paparazzi and destroy all the tabloids, regardless. They’re always bugging her and Steve when they’re out in public and they can’t catch a break. 

“I just wish they would leave us alone,” Natasha sighs in September. “We’re really not as interesting as they make us out to be.”

“I know,” Steve says, “but it’s the price we pay for our careers.”

“_Yeah_… that makes me miss the days when we were young and hopeful outside of Coulson’s office,” Natasha says. “We were so carefree back then.”

Steve chuckles as he reflects. “We grew up in front of the cameras and in front of the world. That definitely sucked.”

“It was hell,” Natasha says. “It still is. The tabloids are just there to eat us alive and I can’t stand it.”

“We can make it through,” Steve says. “I believe in us. We’ll have our ups and downs and we both know damn well, we’ll be on and off for a while but we’ll come back to each other. In the end, it’ll be you and me.”

He’s right. They are on and off for a while. They’re broken up a month later when Steve starts filming a movie in South Africa for a couple of months. 

The tabloids seem to catch wind of their “breakup” or whatever the hell it should be called at this point and they follow her out of a restaurant where she went to meet up with Wanda, Pietro, and Bucky.

They’re yelling at her and she’s fucking ticked off. They keep asking if she’s on a double date with Pietro. They keep asking what happened to Steve. They ask her if she has any plans to contact Matt again.

Natasha loses it.

“Can you shut the _hell_ up and leave me alone? I don’t owe you _anything_ at all and you all sure as _hell_ aren’t entitled to any answers about my personal life. My personal life is fucking _private_ and I have no interest in broadcasting it to you at _all_. Why do you all fucking care _so_ much who I’m with? Why does it matter who I choose to spend my time with? Does it _really_ affect your life that much?” Natasha yells. “_No_, I’m not on a fucking date with Pietro. Pietro is my friend the same damn way that Wanda and Bucky are my friends. It’s no concern to you all what my relationship with Steve and Matt is. It’s none of _your_ fucking business. I understand that it’s your job to photograph me and I understand that this is the price that I pay for fame, but the one thing you all could do at the very least is show some fucking _respect_ for me. My private life is not _anyone’s_ entertainment. It’s not for fucking TMZ or US Weekly or inTouch or _anyone_. It’s my own life and I’m not gonna let you _disgusting_ publications use me. I’m not gonna let the media use me as entertainment. I’m _sick and tired_ of having my life examined under a microscope. I’m a human being just like all of you and I hate that this is how I’m being harassed.”

“_Back off_,” Bucky snaps at a photographer as he leads her to the car.

Pietro helps her into the car.

Wanda grabs Bucky’s hand. “Come on. Let’s go.”

“Are you okay? I’m sorry, Nat,” Pietro says as the driver heads off.

“It’s the price I pay for my life,” Natasha says. “I’m _fine_.”

She sits in silence for the remainder of the drive. Coulson calls her later to let her know that her rant went viral and that she’s the top trend on Twitter.

“I’m not scolding you. _Hell_, I’m not even mad at you,” Coulson says, “but I wanted to make sure that you’re okay. I know that you’ve had some rough times.”

Natasha sighs. “I’m fine. _Really_. I just had to give them a piece of my mind.”

“Have you talked to Steve?” Coulson asks.

“It’s morning in Cape Town. He probably just woke up. Who knows when he’ll find out?” Natasha shrugs.

And just when she says that she gets another phone call. She looks at the Caller ID. Steve.

“_Uh_… Coulson, I gotta go.”

On the other line, she knows that he’s probably smirking. “Alright, Natasha. Have a good night.”

“Hello?”

“Nat? _Hey_. I didn’t wake you, right? I know it’s like 2 AM in New York.” Steve says, gently.

“No, you’re fine. I was still awake.”

Steve sighs. “I saw the rant. Are you okay?”

“Like I’ve told everyone else, I’m fine. Perfectly fine. I just had to get it off my chest,” she responds, truthfully. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” Steve asks, sounding concerned.

Natasha replies, “It’s okay. I’m not upset.”

“I wish I was there,” he says.

“I know. I wish you were here, too.” She means it.

They're both quiet for a minute. They can only hear each other breathing.

“I know it’s getting late for you and I need to get going, so I’ll talk to you later.”

Natasha nods. “Love you.” She doesn't know why says it.

“Love you more.” But she supposes it doesn't matter.

Natasha doesn’t bother to address the rant to the public and she’s glad that Coulson doesn’t try to convince her to. She moves on with life as if it never happened. When Steve returns, he does the same. It works for the both of them and they continue “dating” like nothing ever happened. As usual, they ignore all the talk.

She continues modeling like normal and she’s ecstatic when she finds out she’s been chosen to be one of the chairwomen for the Met Gala. She’s glad that she has a project to distract her from her problems.

“I’m proud of you,” Steve tells her, as they prepare to walk the red carpet. “I _really_ am.”

“Thank you,” she says with a smile. “And you know I’m proud of you.”

He has an unreleased movie set to be released in the fall and it’s already generating Oscar buzz. Some people even guess that Steve might be nominated for Best Supporting Actor, even though it hasn’t come out yet.

They walk the carpet and they pose for the cameras. They know Twitter must be blowing up right now but they can’t bring themselves to care. They’re here to look good and that’s what they’re gonna do. When Steve leans in to kiss her, they can hear the photographers exploding in shock as they try to quickly capture the moment before it’s over.

“That’ll keep them talking,” Natasha says with a smirk.

And it does. Until they break up again.

It’s a cycle at this point.

Every four to six months, they break up. They stay broken up for a couple of months before they get back together.

Natasha knows that their friends think it’s weird. They were together at Thor’s wedding but broken up a month later at Sam’s wedding. They’re back together again when Bucky finally proposes to Wanda.

Their friends have asked a few times throughout the past couple of years why they’re like this, but neither of them truly have an answer. “This is how we work,” they tell them over and over again. “We’re not going to change it.”

They’re stuck in delirium. A _fairytale_. They’re happy with the way things are because it works for them, as weird as it may be.

They understand that their friends are concerned, but they assure them that they really are happy. Their dynamic works well like this.

The media and the general public doesn’t seem to understand one bit. Jimmy Kimmel, Jimmy Fallon, and Ellen DeGeneres don’t seem to understand how it works at all. Natasha and Steve have interviewed with them several times before so they know that they’re familiar with their rocky relationship, but they don’t get it.

“How does it work?” Kimmel asks Steve.

“Does it ever get tiring?” Ellen asks Natasha.

They never truly explain it to anyone because they know they won’t understand. 

“It’s interesting how much of a dinner table conversation we are to people,” Natasha says, as they cuddle on the sofa together. “Who would have thought?”

“It’s what happens when two gorgeous and successful people break all the rules,” Steve says with a chuckle.

Natasha laughs. “It’s not our fault that we’re not traditional.”

“_Right_. Some people on Twitter act like we’re doing something along the lines of polyamory or incest.” He snorts in amusement. “They don’t understand what it’s like to be unorthodox.”

Natasha’s glad that Steve’s on the same page as her. It definitely makes things easier for the both of them.

But she’s always been foolish.

A month later on a sunny July day, she overhears a conversation that Steve’s having with Bucky.

“I want to marry her,” Steve says.

Natasha tenses.

Bucky sighs. “Steve, you and I both know that Natasha’s not really one for marriage.”

“She and I have been doing this back and forth thing for over ten years. In fact, it’s been thirteen years, Bucky. I met her thirteen years ago in June when she was nineteen and I was twenty-one. We’re both in our thirties now. We’re too old to be playing this game.”

Natasha inhales.

“But what if she doesn’t feel the same way, Steve? What are you gonna do?”

“She loves me.”

“That much is obvious,” Bucky says, “You have thirteen years of history with her, but you aren’t that twenty-one-year-old aspiring actor anymore and she’s not the confused nineteen-year-old model slash fashion student. You both have grown up and experienced so much shit and been through so much together.”

Natasha remembers hearing something like this before from Steve.

“I just want us to secure our future together,” Steve says, “I’m so in love with her and I just want us to last. We can't keep living this fantasy where we think everything is okay.”

But she wants that fantasy.

Bucky sighs again. “This is thin ice you’re walking on, buddy.’

“I know,” Steve says, “but I don’t want to end up losing her.”

Natasha doesn’t want to listen anymore. She walks away and pretends she never heard any of that. To her luck, for the next few months, Steve never brings up marriage and never talks about their future.

Until September. 

“Wait,_ really?_” She’s in disbelief.

Steve nods. “Fury agreed to fund it. He’s gonna let me do it.”

“_Oh my God_,” Natasha says, eyes widening. “I’m so excited. I’m so _proud!_”

Steve’s been hired by Fury to direct an indie film that Bruce and Clint had written. Steve had read the script and fell in love with it and asked Fury if he could be considered to direct. Steve didn’t have much experience directing, but he did have some of it under his belt when he directed episodes of Wanda and Pietro’s television show. 

Wanda and Pietro were cast as the lead characters. Maria and Sam also had supporting roles. Bruce and Clint were producing the film. Loki and Jane were working on the score. 

"We're gonna film in Los Angeles starting next week, actually," Steve says. "It's a small production so Fury was able to get it set up quickly. You're welcome to come with us, you know."

"I would," Natasha says, "but I have Fashion Week."

She's walking in fewer shows than she used to do so she's not as busy as she has been before, but she's still busy.

"I know," Steve says with a sigh. "But you can come later, right? We film until mid-December."

"I could." Natasha nods.

Steve reaches out to grab her hand. "I really want you to be there. I know all of us are gonna want you to be around."

"I promise I'll try to make something work."

He smiles and kisses her. "I love you. _So_ fucking much."

"I love you too," she says softly.

"Maybe one day, you and I can venture out to someplace new and stay there permanently," Steve says.

Natasha raises a brow. "What do you mean?"

"I don't know if I want to stay in New York forever. You definitely don't need to live in LA or New York to act. We have the whole world at our grasp, Natasha. I want to explore that world more."

"You want to _move?_" Natasha asks. "With me?"

Steve frowns. "Well, of course. You're the love of my life and I don't want to move without you.'

"But _Steve_," Natasha says, "our life is here in New York."

"It is _now_," Steve says with a confused expression on his face, "but I'm sure you know that you and I can live a life somewhere a bit slower paced and really enjoy the finer things of life."

Natasha blinks. 

Steve sighs at her silence. "Listen, Natasha. You know I love you so fucking much. I want to be with you forever, but I just think that it'd be best for the both of us if we made some changes with our lives."

"What's wrong with the one we're living?" Natasha doesn't really know what to think.

"It's not going to last," Steve says, "We can't do this whole 'We love each other but we're not really committed to each other' thing forever."

"But that's how we work together."

"I don't want us to be like that forever. I want something more. This isn't a _fantasy_."

Natasha stiffens.

"I want to _marry_ you."

Natasha's throat runs dry and she shakes her head. "_Steve_..."

"I want _committment_. I want what all of our friends have with their significant other," Steve says.

"But we're not like them."

"I know that, but that doesn't mean we have to be completely different to them."

Natasha swallows her breath. "This isn't the way we work."

Steve sighs. "Natasha, we've been doing this for thirteen years. We've been doing this on and off thing for too long. It's getting childish. We have to mature."

Natasha's scared. "I don't know if I can do that."

"I know you can," Steve says. "I believe in you. I've told you before. I believe in _us_."

But she doesn't.

So she denies it and he tries to convince her but it only ends up with them screaming at each other. Natasha doesn't understand why Steve can't let good things stay the way they are. Steve doesn't understand why Natasha won't let them be happy.

They don't understand each other. Not anymore. 

When she leaves him there alone, she knows it's over.

* * *

It’s December and Natasha’s excited that something amazing has happened to her. She’s collaborating with Neiman Marcus to start her own clothing line. It’s not gonna be on the level of Prada or Yves Saint Laurent or whatever, but this is good enough for her and it excited her enough as it is.

She’s been spending so much time coming up with designs and messing around with fabrics that it poses as the perfect distraction from Steve. She and Steve had broken up for the umpteenth time in September since he was busy directing an indie film in Los Angeles and she was focused on getting her clothing line off the ground. 

It’s definitely disappointing and embarrassing that this is how the two of them are, but their schedules always clash and it just drives them apart. It made them think in different ways and has changed the way they both see things. They don't see eye to eye anymore. 

She had given him her hourglass necklace back, telling him that he should give it to her when the time is right. It’s been three months since she last saw Steve and she comes to the conclusion that enough is enough.

She knows that he’s coming back to New York in a couple of days since his film is wrapping up and the holidays are coming. Natasha has decided that she doesn’t want to play this on and off game with him anymore. She wants to tell him that she’s deeply in love with him and wants to make it work. She wants them to get married, have kids, live their lives, and grow old together. She wants a future with him. She wants to tell him that she finally understands his viewpoint and she's willing to do whatever's necessary to make it happen. 

So, the day before he arrives, she sends him a text and tells him that she wants to talk to him about something important. From their history, she knows that he knows what she means. He replies and says he'll be there.

Natasha sits on her sofa, waiting for the elevator doors to part so that she can finally see him and hug him and tell him everything that’s on her mind. She’s so excited to see him and she almost screams when the elevator dings.

She walks towards the door and just when she’s about to say his name, she finds herself to be face-to-face with Bucky.

Natasha looks at him with a confused expression. “Bucky, what are you doing here? Where’s Steve?”

Bucky doesn’t answer. Instead, he just hands her a folded piece of paper and a small velvet box.

“What is this?” Natasha frowns as she takes it from him.

“It’s from Steve,” he responds simply. “He asked me to give this to you. You’ll understand.”

Natasha meets his glance. His blue eyes are filled with sorrow. 

“_Bucky?_”

“Just read it. Then, open it.” 

She looks back down at the piece of paper and unfolds it. She reads what’s written and then carefully opens the box.

“I…” Natasha swallows her breath. “_Thank yo_u.”

“I’m sorry,” Bucky says.

“Don’t be,” Natasha shakes her head. She should have seen this coming.

“You two will find each other again someday. A love like that never dies,” Bucky says, reaching out to gently touch her shoulder.

Natasha doesn’t know what to say. She shrugs instead.

“I’m always here for you, Nat,” Bucky says, pulling her into a hug. “Take care of yourself, okay? Wanda and I are always a phone call away.”

She bids farewell to him and watches as he leaves. When he’s out of her line of sight, she looks back down at the opened box in her hand. 

Her fingers brush against the cool texture of her diamond-encrusted hourglass necklace as if it’s delicate.

Natasha inhales and she can envision the first time Steve had helped her put the necklace on. It feels like a lifetime ago to her.

She rereads his note again and finds it ironic that it came with the hourglass necklace.

_ Natasha, _

_ I’m sorry I’m not there. I just couldn’t come back again. We don't see eye to eye anymore. It won't work. It isn’t fair for either of us, but I did want to return your necklace to you. It’s yours. It’s always gonna be yours. _

_ We always seem to miss each other and someone once told me that if it’s too much trouble to make it work, then it isn’t meant to be. We’ve tried so hard and we’ve been through so much over the last thirteen years that if we continue to drag this out, we’ll only end up hurting each other. We'll ruin the friendship forever. I don't want that to happen to us. I care too much about you to let that happen. _

_ I'm sorry.  _ _ I’ll always love you, Nat. Maybe one day we'll be able to visit Russia together.  _

_ All my love, Steve _

She’s no longer stuck in delirium, but she wishes she still was. 

**Author's Note:**

> if you made it here, thanks so much! i'd love to hear your thoughts in the comments and i appreciate all kudos. i'm so grateful to everyone who's given their time to read my writing.
> 
> follow me on twitter: widowfantasies
> 
> xx


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